I Am a Puppet…

Posted: January 4, 2010 in Death and Bereavement
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I was drinking my morning coffee, wondering what to write for a New Years post. All I could think of was death, then I realized the most important topic I being a puppet for a very very long time. So how about squirming with this new topic. Though this one is targeted to a specific audience only and everyone may not understand.

“May the very worst day in you future, be not nearly as bad as the very best day in your past”. My very  best wishes to all in this new year.

Got to the computer and checked email and there is a message from an old friend. It is just too good not to share.

Those first weeks my brain could not stop. There was just too much to accept, to adjust to, too many of my old ghosts coming back to mess with me. In typical Miqdad fashion, the over-analyzing led to our first disagreement, a day-and-a-half that had me feeling terrified (at the intensity of my thoughts) and miserable (because I didn’t want to feel what I felt, and I didn’t want to express any of it, and I didn’t want us to fight about something as abstract as my fears). So now this is more of a communication note rather than a post/blog.
So people usually think they are the finest blaming everything on you and you have to survive the force. The past 2 years were awful, I was walking on the wrong path, but I suggest this is human scenery; we usually commit gaffes and then get them right. So I am on an expedition to set those mistakes right. But I guess I am a puppet with several strings each handled by different people, asking me what to do and what not to. I am just sick of it. You sit far away trying to find mistakes in what I do…huh!!!. So I am an egoistic guy with a lot of attitude problem, so here I go, I don’t give a shit about what is happening or what will happen. I have around a million things to take care of and I don’t want to waste time in these petty issues trying to convince a person in what I do is right.

What about the mistakes the accusers had made in the earlier period. Aren’t they accountable for what they did? Though I know my side is a little heavier but still mistakes are mistakes like the sins are sins.

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Comments
  1. Muzzamil says:

    Touchy

  2. Muzzamil says:

    You’ve stopped blogging?

  3. well man. no time, will write one soon

  4. Sharif Qureshi says:

    i was telling my fiancee about you Mickyl and what we both concluded was that you have a rare gift. See, we’re all dying only we don’t realise it. Who can guarantee tomorrow? No one knows what the next day is going to be like so we need to learn to live each day just like you are doing.

  5. Stella Rangin says:

    I liked this posting quite a bit.

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