To Wonderful Surprises…

Posted: February 22, 2010 in Death and Bereavement
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

I think often about the look in your eyes the first time we met. You had the same look the second time we met and the meetings continued, that day a few weeks after the first one, when you knew you wanted to be with me and didn’t want to lose any more time. You get that look still, your eyes suddenly serious and intense as your hands were open to hug me.

The thing about that look is that it floors me. I, who am not easily silenced, find myself utterly silenced, breath and words leaving me. I look into your eyes and I have no words. I am transfixed.

We are comical now, the way we continue to rehash that day, and the weeks leading to the day at dinner lunches and picnics when everything definitively changed. The surprise, the shock that it is you – you who’s by my side, you who fits so wonderfully with me. I want to always wake up like I do now, and see you next to me and feel all over again the joy of such a wonderful surprise. But we are friends and I am afraid this relation may end.

And had someone told me a year ago that it would be you who would change my life, I would have thought them crazy. To think that this day last year I saw you for the first time in (what? six, finally?) years, and we – each brokenhearted, each awash in confusion and sadness and doubt – had no idea, we never imagined, it would come to this. And this, this is awesome and wonderful.

You are solid. You are loving and generous and thoughtful. Your affection, sense of humor and intelligence and your we-are-a-team-no-matter-what approach to our life together make being with you a dream come true. Your level of organization and “where are the facts?” mentality freak me out. Your trust in me, your support and all the effort you put into this relationship make me feel like the luckiest man in the world. You have exceeded any expectation I ever had of what a great man would be like. You are everything I’ve ever wanted.

And when you look at me with that look in your eyes, I know I’m right where I belong. But people say you should never expect them to behave the way you want. Why? They ditch you. Don’t go after people tailor yourself in such a way that people starve for your company. I’m Broken, Shattered and Hopeless today and I’m pretty much sure we end here. Thank you for everything, Thank you for being there. Miqdadman is used to surprises. Wild surprises.

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Comments
  1. Muzzamil says:

    Boom. Good one

  2. Sharif Qureshi says:

    Some days are better than others, eh.

    And I’m guilty of not hitting the tabs…I own it!
    BUT…..I make note nightly what I did that was unselfish/loving.

  3. Stella Rangin says:

    I liked this posting quite a bit.

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