Posted: February 23, 2010 in Death and Bereavement
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

This all really makes me realize how much I have changed over the years. There was a time when reading comments such as those would have had me just jumping up and down mad. Now I just shake head and chuckle.

I really am trying to get a better understanding of life. My life in particular, how  I see myself, how I see myself relating to the world and how I see the world in general. I suppose I am seeking a greater understanding of what it is all about. I do believe I am making at least some headway in this. I think the greatest understanding I have reached is that there is just an endless list of things I will never understand. I think the biggest revelation for me was, I don’t  have to  understand so very many things that go on around me or in the world as a whole. I realize that most often, my confusion or lack of understanding comes from the actions or reactions of other people.

Just realizing and accepting the plain fact that there is so much I will never be able to understand gives me a sense of freedom. Not sure if I am making that clear.

Everyone is making this same journey through life. Some are just on different paths than the one I have chosen. NO ONE can ever travel exactly the same path as another. Each person being on their own journey will encounter different options, challenges and rewards than I may on my path. That is to be expected, it is a slightly different path, and the trip has to be even just slightly different. Huh, I had a point I was leading to here but seem to have lost my train of thought. Not sure what the point was but I bet it was a good one.

I know I have joked around a lot about my memory, calling myself memory guy and what not. Most of the time, well almost all of the time, your memory is of no concern at all. You just blissfully carry on with your day, your life. You just have no idea of what you have forgotten, well because you have forgotten it. Every once in a while though something comes up and you realize just how bad your memory has become. Just such an issue has arisen, and I extend a big thank you to people for their assistance.

Times like this make me sort of take stock of where I am in general with all of this memory stuff. My memory is getting worse there is no question about that. It is disturbing really when I stop and think about how much worse.

Thank goodness of Faizan Masood being here to remind me. I have reached the point where I am forgetting to rate my priorities in a required manner. With my heart that is not a good thing, not that it is a good thing at any time. More and more he has to prompt me, remind me about them. Thank you man.

Now anyone that knows me, knows I am too short for my weight. OK, I am carrying“less” extra pounds. Now for me to say I am forgetting to eat will just cause many to stop and scratch their heads in wonder. Now I have to explain that, it is actually meals I am forgetting. When I’m alone,  it can be into the evening even say around 9:00pm before I realize I am hungry and have been snacking on whatever is around. Often I realize then I had forgotten to eat “dinner/supper” whatever you wish to call it. Who wants to start cooking at that time, so I snack on?

An example. In this post I wanted to say thank you to Sikandar Khan and Munir who don’t change with time, while the others do. Well I wrote down his name and have it upstairs. I even checked it to be sure before I came to the basement here to type. By the time I had gotten signed on to the computer, I had already forgotten and had to run back to check. Geesh.

Friends tease me. If you ever have a secret you are just burning to tell someone. Well tell Mudassir and Maroof, he will have forgotten it in a hour or so anyway. I think I may have been told secrets, just can’t remember.

Ah well, not sense worrying about it, not worth the effort. In an hour or so I will have forgotten anyway so what is the point. Now that is the upside to a bad memory

  1. Sharif Qureshi says:

    I hope you will keep writing when you have the energy. Never apologize for being a regular person writing about facing death. I wish more regular people would write blogs about all KINDS of things we all have to deal with

  2. Mustafa Hassan says:

    This file is scary. thought provoking

  3. Stella Rangin says:

    I liked this posting quite a bit.

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