Now that I am past it and the temperatures have moderated, I see it was actually a great learning experience for me. I can whine and cry about how unpleasant it was. Looking back now and seeing it for what it was in the overall scheme of things that is all it was “unpleasant” or “uncomfortable.” So many have it so much worse. I allowed merely feeling uncomfortable to drag my mood down. Looking back now I am almost embarrassed that I allowed that to happen. When I say allowed it to happen that is what I mean “ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN”. When I look at it, what did it take to bring me down, not much really in the overall scheme of things. I have to wonder why it is, my mood or spirits can drop with seemingly no effort on my part but then it takes work to get it back up. Well I am on the way back. New mind set: no damn heat or humidity is going to keep me down. Somehow, I have to question myself why is it only after the temperatures have moderated that I am able to think of this new mind set.

I truly have so much in my life to be grateful for. I know that and am so thankful; I am such a lucky man. How easy it is to lose sight of that, literally in the heat of the moment. So, so many have it so much worse than I.

If I am dying, so aren’t we all, just on a different time schedule. Some are even doing it on a time schedule similar to mine, but are in great pain and agony. I think a little heat and I allowed my spirits to sag, oh, what they must be going through. I can’t even begin to imagine. My prayers are with them, everyone.

This may sound strange but I am glad we had the heat and humidity and that it affected me in the way it did. It has proven to be very humbling to me and a great learning experience.

It has given me a new appreciation or possibly a little better understanding of what so many others are enduring. I don’t even want to think about what it would have done to me, if I had spent the past month in terrible pain.

I look at my own condition and have to say “man oh man, I am so lucky”. I won’t go into the memory issues as they are pretty small in the overall life thing.

Wow, I look at that list and I do have a lot of stuff going on. Understand, it is not intended as a poor me list or anything like that. If anything, I hope it shows that a person can live a relatively normal life, with so many different conditions if PROPERLY treated. Those are the key words properly treated.

I am back again, I think this is the first time a post has taken me 3 days to finish, with my little bit here and a little bit there way of writing.

I think I am rambling all over the place here. I think my point here was going to be that people can in fact live with a wide variety of conditions. Attitude and proper treatment can carry you a long way. Try an attitude of gratitude. Am I grateful to have any of my conditions, NO. But am I grateful help and treatment is available to me, YES.

I could easily fall into the poor me, why me, mode of thinking. Then I think, why not me? Every year a certain percentage of the population will be afflicted with every condition known. I believe God loves us all equally, so why would I expect He would spare me? What could make me think I am so special in His eyes that I should be spared over someone else? I am so grateful that I know though God’s guidance, individuals were able to find treatments that allow me to live in my relative comfort.

  1. Sabika Khan says:

    The heat and humidity have been oppressive here too and the air quality has been terrible. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to feel depressed, and little self pity because it gives us so much empathy for others.

  2. Hassan Aftab says:

    Our struggles are as much a part of our lives as our triumphs. It gives us a much better understanding even if it’s on a smaller scale of what others are going through. When we can truly empathize and feel one another’s pain, I think we are much more likely to reach out and minister to each other.

  3. Mohsin Kamran says:

    I lurk on your site…and want you to know I think you are indeed special.

    We are in a battle most of us can’t relate to…at this time anyway.

    Be well blessed.

  4. Jamal Panwahar says:

    Hi there! Have you ever considered that your condition (or mine, for that matter) is the way it’s supposed to be? Perhaps all that we are, and aren’t, is part of some great plan to put us on the path that we’re supposed to be following. There’s peace to be found in that. There’s contentment to be found in that. If we had not got sick, would we be where we are today…doing what we are doing? I’ll bet not, so perhaps God decided that this is how he was going to give us a purpose: to help all of us and yourself think about what the great gift of life is all about.

    Peace and light always, Wiseman.

  5. Tara Sophie says:

    In the short time I’ve been reading your site, you have become a special inspiration to me. I have my own ailments, but I’ll be danged if I’m going to let them get in the way of living the life and doing the things God put me here to do. Thanks for sharing your story.

  6. Altamash Jiva says:

    I am glad to hear you are in a better frame of mind, and that you are good. Cheers, enjoy the last of the nice fresh summer corn and sit on you porch and watch a good movie!

  7. Mel Carter says:

    The attitude of gratitude can create miracles when the gratitude is about our own perceived failings and illnesses.
    Much much love to you Dear

  8. Catherine says:

    So true… attitude is a massive part of it, not just of bearing illness but of bearing life, generally, I reckon.…

    Take care you.


  9. Stella Rangin says:

    It sounds like you feel much like I do. I liked your point – “Why not me?” and I’ve blogged about that myself. We are extremely lucky to have gone through what we have as it makes us the people we are today.

    I don’t know if you read much but I’ve just finished “A Thousand Splendid Suns” about life in Afghanistan and it’s given me a perspective that just has floored me once again. It’s hard there and in so many places.

    I’m grateful today and thank you for this post.

  10. Sameen Shah says:

    I think it’s OK to feel the way you feel. While it’s always good to keep some perspective about our relative easy lives when compared to so many others, your feelings and maladies also deserve validation. I admire your humility and honesty. You do a lot of good here, whether you know it or not.

  11. Sara siraj says:

    I recently started a site of my own for the same purpose. Suddenly it occurred to me that others have probably done so also, and with a little searching I found your site. Its amazing how similar our attitudes are. Scary even.

    I don’t yet want my site open to the public, but would appreciate any comments/criticism you may have regarding it. I guess i’m trying to connect to someone in a similar position. I think you’d understand the things i’ve posted

  12. Ammar Haque says:

    Theres an acronym i’ve heard of that applies to my fears. Its called TAB. It stands for temporarily able bodied. I’m not sure a “TAB” can have much of a clue about what its like to have death camped out in the house waiting for you, till suddenly they lose their TAB status. Everyone does eventually, tho some people go from healthy to dead with no intervening time. Most people will have to face things at some point in life, but until they do the frame of reference is lacking

  13. Mark Dan says:

    Let me know (email) if you’d be willing to look at my site. Thanks. I’m slowly reading your site and catching up on some archival entries. From what i’ve read so far its apparent you are full of strength and compassion, and I appreciate that you’ve put this out in the public for myself and others to benefit from.
    Thank you.

  14. Dharam Singh says:

    Attitude *is* important, no doubt about it. I’ve tried really hard to remember to stay present to whatever is going on with me and I got pretty good at it during chmo. Of course, what else did I have to do? I read a quote from someone recently (though I can’t remember who it was) that compared feelings to little children. You need to pay attention to them, but you wouldn’t let them run the house.

    Please be kind to yourself.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Girl Attitude!!!

  16. Mark Dan says:

    I’m so sorry I said a wee swearword! I said what I thought but it probably wasn’t what I should have said in this sort of public place. Sorry to anyone else that didn’t like it either. )))

  17. Moiz Damani says:

    Heart gone wild 🙂

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