I hope and pray 2011 is a wonderful year for all. I hope and pray for all that it is the very best year of your life so far and that each coming year after shall continue to just get better and better.

I am not making any New Year’s resolutions but I am approaching the new year with more resolve, a greater determination to work on myself physically, spiritually and emotionally. In the last day or so I responded to a comment in which I stated I am prepared for what lies ahead. I realize that has become like just a pat, routine answer. Something made me stop and really think about it. I realize that yes, there was indeed a time when I was prepared both emotionally and spiritually, prepared to go home whenever the Father called me. I feel I have let that state of preparedness slide. I am not sure becoming complacent or something. Maybe, it is I am not as prepared as I once was or as I would always like to be. Dying is kind of a big deal for all of us!!! If you know it is coming wouldn’t you want to be as prepared as you can. Well guess what? I know I am dying but I also know you are dying, timing is the only difference. I may be on a bit more of an accelerated plan but really how do you even know that.

Ok, I was prepared, but for reasons known only to him, the Good Lord seemed to be not ready to call me. Time kept rolling by and I am still here plugging away. Somehow through this my feelings of not seeing my next birthday was replaced with a feeling of I have another 10 or 15 years left in my yet. I even survived another birthday. I became cocky, complacent. My daily prayers and meditation began to slip until here I am now.

I am not sure why but over the past 4 or 5 months that cocky feeling of I have a good 10 or 15 years left in my has gone. I am feeling uncertain about this year. I need to get back my sense of being prepared the peace and serenity that comes with it.

I found this blog helped me gain those feelings in the past and I am hoping it will do it for me again. I have to go back to the beginning. But I will get there.

  1. Martha Singh says:

    Miqdad, a woman who is a Medical Lawyer (no dummy) died and came back to life. She remembers her experience in the afterlife and chose to come back to share these insights. She says everyone comes back with a gift and hers is “memory”. She knows that is meant to share this with any who will listen. This is so profound, I simply have to share it with you. If you look at Nanci’s DVDs and really dislike them, please remove this comment. I deeply believe, however, that this is valid. It enhances all the bits and pieces I’ve heard in Hospice. Here’s the link for the first video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFDI-jgFVqs&feature=related

  2. Jamal Panwahar says:

    I found it facinating and will be checking futher into it. I recommend all check it out.

  3. Salman Ateeq says:

    I thank you so very much and send the same good wishes right back to you

  4. Jo Hart says:

    Happy New year miq!!! 🙂

  5. Sabika Khan says:

    Miqdad, thank you for your honest sharing, once again. To face these issues the way you do requires some courage and is of consequence.

  6. Ammar Haque says:

    Perhaps the uncertainty also has come about from the Blog since, listening, you have taken in many different opinions and broadened your sense of connectedness-as opposed to being isolated with your own thoughts-building a fortress of solitude which we are naturally apt to do. I know I do in my situation with my son- a situation few can comprehend. But I too find that to be complacent and I too have reached out through writing in order to connect to others’ opinions and “takes” on things to establish a new balance. Being open and accepting is hard when your struggle is that of survival.

  7. Dawar Khan says:

    Finally, as a practitioner of (alternative) medical therapies for over twenty years I know that “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak”. Truly this means that when our bodies are getting tired, mechanisms working less, it affects our outlook, our resolve.

  8. Sameen Shah says:

    We are after all living in union of spirit and flesh in this existence, so naturally there is dialogue between the two. Therefore I say that when you feel your focus fading a bit, hold fast to who you resolved to be since the tired body can strip us of our acuity.

  9. Catherine says:

    I know my rest is important, if I get over tired spirits are indeed more like to sag. I work it and am usually able to work my way through it as I will this time.
    Hope to hear more,

  10. Abeeda Jilani says:

    The first day of a new year, and you remind me what it is to be human…. how we by nature become complacent, cocky as you call it, and at some point, we realise, are reminded, and we do something about it, replenish our spirits. Are we not the gardeners of our souls? These winter periods of hybernation, are a natural process and perhaps to rest. Then as the season changes, so will our work on ourselves, that steady weeding and preperation; nurturing ourselves, recharging our spirits – and again, inevitably, we will fade as the season changes and so it goes on, our cycle, as someone here commented on – that union between spirit and flesh….. Anyway, its my simple understanding, and that we are all doing the best we can. I am going to be kinder to myself in 2011 miq, I’m going to be focused and miq, I’m going to have fun!

  11. Mel Carter says:

    Well….I won’t lie. I’ve been here a couple of times and read this. And I’ve failed to leave a comment–mostly cuz when I read things two things happen. I feel for the person who writes it, and then I immediately start searching ME.

  12. Tere says:

    The words ‘cocky and complacent’ fit. My immediate thought went to ‘where’s those insurance policies….’. Yeah, well….they’re hidden under a bunch of ‘stuff’. That’s a pretty good indicator of where I’m operating out of. Leastwise it is for me. And in my brain I know–the further out I get, the closer I am to losing what I have. Kinda like ‘the further you get from your last drink the closer you are to your next’–I know that’s true cuz I know what my brain can convince me of on any given day.
    I have a screwed up brain. LOL This isn’t news to anyone who knows me (as you well do!). (and I didn’t think a brain tumor was a big deal when I was dealing with out of control Leukemia either….LOL…funny how that works, eh?)

  13. Helen says:

    Ah, the feelings and thoughts that a new year and a new decade bring upon us. I got my cockiness and “take-in-for-granted” attitude tarred and feathered since December 23rd. Now, after a week of being barely able to function – I am up today with pretty clear eyes, a sort of put on right head (LOL), and I’m glad to have made it to over to the other side of another physical reminder that I’m dying.

  14. Psych says:

    It’s strange that I came to look at your blog updates when I have today, because this morning the Other Half and I were remarking on how often we refer to one or the other of us dying. He says it’s normal, and I guess there is truth in that. One thing your blog has emphasised for me, is that it is very important to make the most of each day. Every Blessing as you face the future.

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