Posts Tagged ‘attitude’

Now that I am past it and the temperatures have moderated, I see it was actually a great learning experience for me. I can whine and cry about how unpleasant it was. Looking back now and seeing it for what it was in the overall scheme of things that is all it was “unpleasant” or “uncomfortable.” So many have it so much worse. I allowed merely feeling uncomfortable to drag my mood down. Looking back now I am almost embarrassed that I allowed that to happen. When I say allowed it to happen that is what I mean “ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN”. When I look at it, what did it take to bring me down, not much really in the overall scheme of things. I have to wonder why it is, my mood or spirits can drop with seemingly no effort on my part but then it takes work to get it back up. Well I am on the way back. New mind set: no damn heat or humidity is going to keep me down. Somehow, I have to question myself why is it only after the temperatures have moderated that I am able to think of this new mind set.

I truly have so much in my life to be grateful for. I know that and am so thankful; I am such a lucky man. How easy it is to lose sight of that, literally in the heat of the moment. So, so many have it so much worse than I.

If I am dying, so aren’t we all, just on a different time schedule. Some are even doing it on a time schedule similar to mine, but are in great pain and agony. I think a little heat and I allowed my spirits to sag, oh, what they must be going through. I can’t even begin to imagine. My prayers are with them, everyone.

This may sound strange but I am glad we had the heat and humidity and that it affected me in the way it did. It has proven to be very humbling to me and a great learning experience.

It has given me a new appreciation or possibly a little better understanding of what so many others are enduring. I don’t even want to think about what it would have done to me, if I had spent the past month in terrible pain.

I look at my own condition and have to say “man oh man, I am so lucky”. I won’t go into the memory issues as they are pretty small in the overall life thing.

Wow, I look at that list and I do have a lot of stuff going on. Understand, it is not intended as a poor me list or anything like that. If anything, I hope it shows that a person can live a relatively normal life, with so many different conditions if PROPERLY treated. Those are the key words properly treated.

I am back again, I think this is the first time a post has taken me 3 days to finish, with my little bit here and a little bit there way of writing.

I think I am rambling all over the place here. I think my point here was going to be that people can in fact live with a wide variety of conditions. Attitude and proper treatment can carry you a long way. Try an attitude of gratitude. Am I grateful to have any of my conditions, NO. But am I grateful help and treatment is available to me, YES.

I could easily fall into the poor me, why me, mode of thinking. Then I think, why not me? Every year a certain percentage of the population will be afflicted with every condition known. I believe God loves us all equally, so why would I expect He would spare me? What could make me think I am so special in His eyes that I should be spared over someone else? I am so grateful that I know though God’s guidance, individuals were able to find treatments that allow me to live in my relative comfort.

I realize after a lot of thought through the past few days that I have fallen into one of the ruts I so often write about avoiding. I am not sure if it is complacency or just taking life for granted. I am not sure, maybe just a little bit of poor me going on. It seems both physically and emotionally. Physically, I think I have mended and am adjusting to another level of physical capabilities. Emotionally, I seem to be struggling a little more to bounce back. By this I mean attitude. I have been dealing with this whole irritating saga business for 5 years now and it can wear on you.

I remember years ago at some point thinking, “when it comes my time to die, I hope I am hit by a lightning bolt or something like that. Just so bang I am gone and don’t know it is coming, I don’t want to have to think about it or worry about it.” Hmm, not exactly what came to pass as here I am after 5 years and still thinking about it.

A positive attitude, a positive outlook is a key to everything in life. I know that. With all of my other ventures or whatever it seemed my overall attitude wasn’t affected this much. I was even told I wasn’t taking it all seriously enough. Generally, I was able to keep the positive mindset. Adapt to whatever and carry on as if whatever had happened was nothing more than an inconvenience in life. This time it is different and I don’t know why. Maybe, I just need to vent a little.

Now, I say I am struggling with the attitude, but I know I will get it back, I just have to work at it a little harder. So this is my poor me post.

There is a saying, “fake it until you make it”, not sure if that works or not. But, tomorrow, I will be back full force. Helping others can be a wonderful healing tool.

All of this has taught me a good lesson or maybe reminded me of something I have been aware of for a long time. I am becoming less and less concerned about what other people think of me. Whatever it is it’s their business not mine.

Wouldn’t you know it, there comes a time when I have to go to a store in the Mall. Now what would be the sensible thing to do? Put on a belt to at least hold the pants up enough not to show off my underwear. It might be a little uncomfortable but not that bad. I mean what would people think if they saw me?

Well, guess what I did. Never even thought of a belt at the time. There was no danger of my pants actually falling off, just that I might show off some underwear. Now I did do my best to hold them in place.

When I think of it, I may have presented quite the sight, an underweight, junky holding up his pants. In fact though, did I get any “looks” from anyone? Don’t know, don’t care, never bothered to look around to see.

How much of our lives do we spend worrying about what strangers will think of us? Now I am talking strangers here. Why would I care in the slightest what a passing stranger might think of me? This is someone I have never seen before and very likely will never see again, why do I care what they would think? Obviously, I don’t anymore.

Why do we care so much what strangers think?

I think this is a scenario we can all relate to, or at least I can. Picture this. You have had a terrible day at work, you are in a foul mood and you are on your way home. Some how you have a chance encounter with a total stranger. This “encounter” may only last a minute or two for whatever reason it may occur. But, for that minute or two we push aside the foul mood and suddenly become very friendly and polite. I mean “we wouldn’t want a stranger to think badly of us”. That brief encounter is over, our foul mood returns, we go home and take it out on our families. I think we all do it, why?

I really seem to have gotten on a roll here and was going to give examples from my own life to try and explain what I am talking about. It seems I have tired myself right out and need my nap. We don’t live for ourselves but the strangers around.

We all know somebody who is a double-talker, a gossip and a generally untrustworthy person. They are cruel to their enemies and even meaner to their friends – only with the friends the mean streak only comes out when their backs are turned. This type of friend is all sweetness and sugar to people’s faces but actually and spiteful behind their backs. We call people like this “backstabbers” because they sneak around portraying themselves as something they are not, a friend. Do you have one of these snakes in your life? Are you wondering if a bud is really a dud?

What are friends, friends are supposed to be there for you but what about the ones that turns away, when you thought that they were supposed to be there. I call that a backstabber I am tired of all the evil in the world people turn on people, brawl, gossip that is all you see. Why can’t it be like it use to be, where everyone gets along and no one grabs a gun and starts shooting at each other what is wrong. I know what is wrong we need to set aside the differences and look at one another and stop back stabbing and start helping each other, do things together and help those in need instead of fighting, shooting and hating. It should be about love and friendship, careering is the most important thing in the world and we have forgotten about it and we need to remember that without one another. We aren’t anything but body’s taken up empty space but with each other we can make a difference. As you grow up life starts to twist like a maze and becomes more complicated, this is usually between the ages of 17-27 years.

I have experienced a lot of them, each from a different field, why do these people exist, don’t they have any shame. I have trusted quite few people in my life with money, deals, secrets or anything that was dear to me, but they either wait for fraudulent chances or hurt your feelings. These people have an aliment called covetousness.

A momentary look at the backstabbers,

Santosh Kumar, Sharif Qureshi, Ishaq Hassan, Faisal Siddiq, Usman khan, Danish Chaudhry, Ahmad Madha and Imran Madha, Monis dara.

I never have thought about the past nor have peeped in the future, but I pray to God to grant me the strength to take revenge from these bastards. Backstabbers usually are the nearest and the dearest who show their actual face at the time of need. May God decontaminate our lives with these backstabbers. There are still many more to mention but they are either not important or I have forgiven them. 🙂

Money, Attitude and Ego are like underwear. Should have it but you should not show it, unless you are superman. (more…)