Strangers and Attitude…

I realize after a lot of thought through the past few days that I have fallen into one of the ruts I so often write about avoiding. I am not sure if it is complacency or just taking life for granted. I am not sure, maybe just a little bit of poor me going on. It seems both physically and emotionally. Physically, I think I have mended and am adjusting to another level of physical capabilities. Emotionally, I seem to be struggling a little more to bounce back. By this I mean attitude. I have been dealing with this whole irritating saga business for 5 years now and it can wear on you.

I remember years ago at some point thinking, “when it comes my time to die, I hope I am hit by a lightning bolt or something like that. Just so bang I am gone and don’t know it is coming, I don’t want to have to think about it or worry about it.” Hmm, not exactly what came to pass as here I am after 5 years and still thinking about it.

A positive attitude, a positive outlook is a key to everything in life. I know that. With all of my other ventures or whatever it seemed my overall attitude wasn’t affected this much. I was even told I wasn’t taking it all seriously enough. Generally, I was able to keep the positive mindset. Adapt to whatever and carry on as if whatever had happened was nothing more than an inconvenience in life. This time it is different and I don’t know why. Maybe, I just need to vent a little.

Now, I say I am struggling with the attitude, but I know I will get it back, I just have to work at it a little harder. So this is my poor me post.

There is a saying, “fake it until you make it”, not sure if that works or not. But, tomorrow, I will be back full force. Helping others can be a wonderful healing tool.

All of this has taught me a good lesson or maybe reminded me of something I have been aware of for a long time. I am becoming less and less concerned about what other people think of me. Whatever it is it’s their business not mine.

Wouldn’t you know it, there comes a time when I have to go to a store in the Mall. Now what would be the sensible thing to do? Put on a belt to at least hold the pants up enough not to show off my underwear. It might be a little uncomfortable but not that bad. I mean what would people think if they saw me?

Well, guess what I did. Never even thought of a belt at the time. There was no danger of my pants actually falling off, just that I might show off some underwear. Now I did do my best to hold them in place.

When I think of it, I may have presented quite the sight, an underweight, junky holding up his pants. In fact though, did I get any “looks” from anyone? Don’t know, don’t care, never bothered to look around to see.

How much of our lives do we spend worrying about what strangers will think of us? Now I am talking strangers here. Why would I care in the slightest what a passing stranger might think of me? This is someone I have never seen before and very likely will never see again, why do I care what they would think? Obviously, I don’t anymore.

Why do we care so much what strangers think?

I think this is a scenario we can all relate to, or at least I can. Picture this. You have had a terrible day at work, you are in a foul mood and you are on your way home. Some how you have a chance encounter with a total stranger. This “encounter” may only last a minute or two for whatever reason it may occur. But, for that minute or two we push aside the foul mood and suddenly become very friendly and polite. I mean “we wouldn’t want a stranger to think badly of us”. That brief encounter is over, our foul mood returns, we go home and take it out on our families. I think we all do it, why?

I really seem to have gotten on a roll here and was going to give examples from my own life to try and explain what I am talking about. It seems I have tired myself right out and need my nap. We don’t live for ourselves but the strangers around.