Posts Tagged ‘highway’

Yesterday was an OK day, not one of my best but not one of what I call my bad days. Evening was wonderful, friends stopped by for a visit. They spent the night and left this morning. They had to be up early and left so quietly, not wanting to disturb our sleep, I didn’t even hear them.

I suppose it is natural that as I spend more time just thinking and reflecting back on my life and even on the world in general, different types of thoughts pop into my head. I suppose that shows my thinking process has changed or something. Even the mere fact that I will just sit and think back, is different from what it has been at times in the past. At different periods of my life there were times when I purposely kept myself so busy that I wouldn’t have time to think about my life. I suppose that showed a lack of internal strength on my part. To me, my life was in chaos and I almost seemed to be frozen in time not knowing what to do or where to turn. I too often took the easy way by not even allowing myself to think of my life at the time. Don’t think, avoid the pain.

I look back today; with I suppose is my “new mindset” and see each of those situations differently. Today, is all the hurt and pain gone? No, and maybe never will be. I can look back now and learn more from those mistakes or events, than sadly I did at the time. I now see each was just one small dot on the overall picture of my life. Each individual dot has brought me to be the person I am today. I am content with that; I am content and happy with my life today. Who is to know, maybe if even one small thing had happened differently in my past, my life, my thinking today could be different.

I even feel kind of silly, thinking of how every day I prayed asking for God will to be done in my life. Yet I fought so hard or felt so hurt when my will didn’t prevail.

I look around me and see so many people getting upset over what really are inconsequential little things. Sometimes it is almost like I would like to go and just give them a good shake, and say. Stop and think, think of the precious moments in life you are wasting being upset. We have to few of these moments and there will come a day when you regret those moments wasted. But, I look back and realize if someone would have said that to me a couple of years ago, I wouldn’t have listened. I would have been too busy dealing with the issues of the moment. To busy, to wrapped up in one small dot in the overall picture.

In addition to the comments left here on the blog, I get many many emails from personal friends, blogging friends and even from family members of blogging friends. I feel honored that many share with me intimate and very personal details of their lives as they struggle with various issues (learning experiences).

I do feel honored that they do feel that level of comfort and trust in me that I will never betray the confidentiality of their messages. Which, I will never do.

It really reinforces to me the idea that “EVERYONE is fighting their own battles in life”. No one is continually living the perfect life. At the same time no one is continually living a terrible life, although it can most certainly seem like it at times. Those were the two keys, in what I am trying to say: “AT TIMES”.

I read a quote somewhere that went something like: “No one ever said life would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.” I am not sure if that is the exact wording but it was something like that and its true IT WILL BE WORTH IT.

I think of life as a journey. A journey on the highway of life. No matter which highway you travel on, you will never find one that goes on endlessly with no bumps in the road, potholes and even detours. Everyone is on their own journey and will face their own bumps and detours in their highways. We have to accept that for ourselves and for all others. Everyone is fighting their own battles. It would be nice if life provided us with a road map so we could know when a bump or detour in the highway is coming. None of us have that and must accept there will be bumps ahead. No, when I think of it, I don’t think such a map would be a good idea. If we had one we would be so focused on the upcoming bump we would forget to enjoy the smooth highway we are currently on. I thing we already tend to do to much of that, worrying about tomorrow to the point we rob our selves of the pleasure of today.
Anyone and everyone can look back over their lives and remember past situations. Past situations that while in the midst of them, we felt despair and even very discouraged. Remember the feelings back then and that somehow you got through it and eventually hit another smooth stretch on the highway of life. How did we get through it, likely don’t even know, just plodded along until we got there. The thing is we got there. I needed to really look at my past to exactly what I am talking about here.

God recognizes us all as being human; He doesn’t expect perfection from any of us only that we keep trying. Just keep trying, plugging away as best we can and we get through it often to our own surprise and at times in spite of ourselves. The how doesn’t even really matter as much as the plain fact that we do get through. Hopefully we learn from that experience and again for a while travel on, on a smooth stretch on the highway of life.

My prayers go to all that are struggling

I’ve been thinking about this entry all day long. Where to start? Where to end is the more important question. I’ve been holding emotions in for a very long time, and ive run out of people to bore with my constant ranting, so I’ve made the transition to the internet. But, this is not the topic of this entry. What I will try to accomplish is getting stuff off of my chest. I am tired of holding this in, and I’m opening up to anyone who is willing to read this.

So, I will just open up on how my personality has changed over the last couple of years. Basically, as soon as I hit middle school, i immediately became part of a “group” of friends. Gone were the days of harmlessly playing around with whoever you wanted, because kids in middle school begin judging people based on menial things that just didn’t matter in the lower echelons of schooling. So 7th grade was fine, no real big occurrences there, other than the judging. But in 8th grade, I decided to become different. I grew tired of being what everyone else wanted me to be and became my own person. I grew my hair out and started wearing darker clothes. Almost as soon as I walked into the school that morning, the constant nags began. “What happened?”, “why’d you go Goth on us?”. At first, I shrugged it off; I ignored them. But it kept coming, day after day people judged, and day after day i drifted further apart from general society. By the halfway point in the school year, I was an emotional wreck; I had resulted to destructive behaviors such as cutting (which I’ve long quit). When people saw those, it only got worse.

I’ve developed a cynical attitude towards people. I make judgments quickly, and I stick to them. People still continue to judge me. In fact, the first day of high school, I was accused of being stoned simply because I was tired and my eyes were red. If I looked like a normal person, that wouldn’t have happened, but my hair is long for a guy, so I was stereotyped as a stoner, only adding to my hate towards the general populace.

I spend a lot of time alone, which may sound bad, but has also opened a lot of doors for me creatively. It was during one of my lonely nights that I got into writing, and I’m proud to say I am excellent at it, it’s saved my life. I also have developed as a squash player. I’m not incredible, but I’m just learning.

At school, I walk around with a fake smile and say hi to people that say it first. I’ve gone from an overly charismatic person to somewhat of a loner.
Just a short post for now will continue this baggage in the next one.

I have often said that I know see things differently than I did in my younger years. I know I am very lucky to see things as I do now, but feel sad that it took me this long and to have to get to this point in my life before, I could actually see things as they are.

Obviously, I am either a slow learner or just not that bright that is the part that, I suppose makes me sad. I firmly believe, our God, will present us with life situations which are really opportunities for us to learn and grow as Spiritual Beings. The lesson is right there for us to learn from no matter in what form it is presented to us. If we do in fact take advantage of the opportunity presented to us, we will learn and grow as people. Yes, we will then see things differently.

Every parent here on this earth loves and wants their children to grow, to flourish, to be happen, to love and to find love. To help them attain this we do our best in our own ways to teach our children the lessons in life, as we are able.

In my eyes I see this as being a good comparable with that of our individual relationships with our God. There is a difference though, that being that His love for us is magnified to a level beyond our physical understanding. He wants us to learn and to grow as spiritual beings. No let’s face it if everything in life just flowed smoothly along we would just complacently go with the flow and likely learn very little about being a better person. Now obviously there are exceptions to this but I do think it would apply to most, as it did to me.

It seems we learn best from our mistakes or from facing adversity, this just seem to be a human trait or at the very least a “Miqdad” trait. Here is something else I have heard somewhere with people saying “if our kids could only learn from our mistakes, their lives could be so much easier.” Now that is likely true enough, but the big question to be asked here, is Did we learn from our own mistakes? Now I would like to be able to say, either I have never made any mistakes or that I had learned from each on and grown from it. That statement would qualify for the biggest LOL ever. I was going to say, if you were able to write them all down you could fill a book with the mistakes in life I have made. But, that would be inaccurate; my mistakes would fill easily 5 or 6 books. It is not always a bad thing having memory issues as I am sure I have forgotten many embarrassing blunders.

I am greatly comforted by the fact that I do believe that God does see us as being Human. Humans are not perfect beings. He does not expect perfection of us, only that we keep trying. That I am. Someday it seems a little harder than others or maybe it is my effort is a little stronger some days than others.

I often consider life to be like a highway and I refer to the highway of life. As does any highway, it at times has pot holes.

Hey, I love using comparables but know I often end up going around in circles but here we go as I try to get my thoughts across in a way that makes sense. In this physical world, let’s imagine you buy a new car. You hit a pot hole and no big deal, no noticeable difference to the car. But, you realize if you continue to hit enough of these potholes it is going to add a lot of wear and tear to the car. As your experience as a driver increases you learn to watch the road ahead and realize at times you can steer to avoid the potholes, staying on smooth highway. You know though that no matter how carefully you drive there will be times when a pothole is suddenly in front of you before you have time to react and you hit it. At times the pothole may be so big your car actually gets stuck in it, your car is completely mired down in mud. You can sit there revving the engine, tires spinning madly and you are going nowhere. While in that mode you are just adding useless wear and tear to the car and accomplishing nothing. You sit there wheels pointing straight ahead, engine roaring and you are going nowhere. Here we go with another one of the quotes I heard somewhere: one definition of insanity could be continuing to do the same thing over and over again in exactly the same manner and yet continuing to be disappointed when the end result comes out the same.

We have to do something differently. Maybe instead of just trying to bulldoze our way straight ahead, we turn the steering wheel of the car. Maybe we can get better traction if we try even going in a slightly different direction. Maybe we need someone to give us a little push. Could be we even need a tow truck to actually pull our car through. However we do it, we eventually get our car back on the highway, how much wear and tear or battering it took while mired down depends on how we dealt with it. Next time we get our car stuck, did we learn the futility of just sitting there or will be a little quicker to try something different.

Don’t know how well I explained that. But, now try to picture the highway of life. Your mind is the driver, your heart the engine and your body is the car. How many potholes in life do we have to hit before we learn to avoid them? How many times do we have to get mired down before we realize the futility of just trying to bulldoze our way straight ahead? Let me know what you think. Posts all open to all sorts of comments; feel free to express your view. I’ll start a new file soon, this file ends with a remarkable note.

Yesterday I did a post on what I call the highway of life and fortunately it got posted on socyberty. This highway is simply the path we follow down during our lifetimes. Sometimes the highway is smooth and or lives carry on smoothly. Sometimes this highway may have a little pot hole and life suddenly isn’t such a smooth ride any more. So what is a pot hole in the highway of life. It could really be anything that we find to be unsettling or upsetting. The pot holes can vary in size, some are small (possibly an argument with a loved one). They can vary in size right up to really big ones. (Possibly the death of a loved one or some such)

There are issues in life that we just can’t avoid. Things such as the loss of a loved one are just beyond our control and we must just work our way through this painful time. So in what I am about to say I am not talking about this sort of life issue.

I am talking about more the more mundane issues in life. Those nagging little issues that come along and can be anywhere from annoying to almost driving us “crazy”. There are millions of examples of the sort of thing I am talking about and the list of things can vary from person to person. I am talking about the sort of things that have us saying to ourselves:  “WHY did this have to happen, today of all days” or “he/she/they are such idiots, I keep trying to explain to them how it should be and they just aren’t listening”. You know the sort of things I am talking about. Little pot holes in the highway of life.

With time some we see coming and can learn to avoid. Others we often just charge in head first and can turn what could be just a little bump in the road into a huge quagmire. Why do we often charge right in, because we “know” what is the right thing to be done, even if it may be in the lives of others. Our intentions are good, we want to help in many cases and we “know” the best thing to be done. Often we enter gently offering loving “suggestions”. Huh, what is up with this, I told them what to do and they are not listening. The answer to this problem is so obvious, I can see it, why can’t they. Huh, they must not have heard me the first time, so I will tell them again, maybe I will be a little more forceful this time so they will listen and see what I am saying and realize that obviously I am right. “WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THESE IDIOTS, I KEEP TELLING THEM WHAT TO DO AND THEY ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME. Well, FINE if that is their attitude, see if I am going to try and help them again”. Feelings have been hurt likely on both sides and nothing is accomplished.

What have I learned? Often, there is no, one size fits all, right answer. What is right for or to me may very well not be for the next person. I accept that. So, I ask this, is it better to be “right” or to be happy?

Today, if I come across a situation, I am not shy about offering my suggestions usually only once, unless later questioned about it. Even though I may “know” my point or my view is the “right” one, I will not beat it to death. I will not argue or take offence if you do not agree with me and act on my advice. I prefer to be happy. I admit, I may still have a bit of a smug feeling inside, “knowing”, I am right. I am content to know for me I am right but don’t feel the necessity to pound away at it until I force you to agree with me. Take what you like and leave the rest.

This is how hard feelings and grudges are formed. A grudge is the heaviest thing you can ever carry. Why waste your precious time and energy arguing over something likely would have been forgotten about very shortly anyway. Forgotten that is unless we make a mountain out of a mole hill, turn a simple little pot hole into a huge quagmire.