Posts Tagged ‘illusion’

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there. Here in Pakistan and everywhere in the world anyway today is fathers day. I am not sure how far and wide around the world this celebration extends. I think Mothers Day and Fathers Day should be celebrated everywhere. Any that read this maybe you could tell me if it is celebrated where you live.

I can hear a lot of “oh no’s” echoing from everywhere when I say I have been thinking again. Thinking that is about Fathers day and what it means or could mean.

Now first off, who can be a father? Well biologically the way our bodies are, virtually any male over, I don’t know about the ages of 12 or 13 can father a child. That is just the way it is. Now there is though a world of difference between fathering a child and being a father. I imagine everyone would know what I mean here and no further explanation is needed.

Now I know today will be a day of family gatherings, BBQ’s etc and that the phone lines will be busy to capacity as dads are acknowledged and to that I say right on.

I am issuing two challenges today. First to the fathers. Your children will be gathering around you or calling you to both pay their respects and honor you on this day. I challenge all fathers to take a few moments to reflect on this past year. The year that has gone by since last father’s day. Reflect on the type of father you have been to your children in this past year. Do you really deserve to be honored in this way on this day? What kind of a father have you been in this past year?

We should never look for perfection when we think of our parenting roles, impossible to attain. As you look back you may see situations that were “disastrous” but even that is OK and acceptable if we were truly trying our best. Trying our best is all that can ever be asked of anyone in any situation. Just think about it, did you try your best or deep within do you know you took the easy way out, which often seems to be simply ignoring the kids. Think about this, keep it in mind and accept whatever honors or tributes are passed your way on this, your day. Just keep it in mind, think about it, there will be another father’s day next year. Do you need to and will you be making any changes in this next year?

Another thought to the fathers. Children in our lives are a blessing from God. Could Fathers Day possibly be a day in which we also honor our children the very ones that qualify us as fathers? Without our children this day would be meaningless to us, think about it.

If there are any dead beat dads that read this. I suggest this one thing. Go and pick up a baseball bat,use it to sharply strike yourself on the side of the head.

To the children of all ages celebrating father’s day. Why are you doing it? Have your really given any thought to this day or is it just another day on the calendar. A day in which we feel obligated to give him a call or maybe get the family together. Just because that is what is expected by society to be done. Will you say “Happy Fathers Day” just to get the words out and over with for another year? Mothers Day and Fathers day can have real meaning and significance or they can just be days in which we have a family obligation. Which is it for you?

I would be interested on hearing from all on this.

Yesterday, I felt pretty good for the part of the day that I was awake. I always seem to feel tired and yesterday was another day that I slept most of it away.

I spend so much time reflecting back on my life. I seem to see things so differently now. Via email, I received one of those inspirational type messages. It was the story of a very skilled carpenter that took great pride and care in ensuring every job was done well. After many years of quality work, it reached the point he decided to retire and informed his employer of this. On hearing this, his employer practically begged him to build on last house. Out of loyalty and respect for the employer he agreed. But as the construction began it was obvious his heart wasn’t in it. He began taking short cuts, using shoddy materials, putting forth less than his best effort, anything he could to just get through each day. Ultimately, the house was finished, on the outside it looked good and only the carpenter in his heart knew of the inferior work contained within. Upon completion the employer handed the carpenter the keys to the house, gifting it to him in recognition of the years of good work. Now only when it was too late did the carpenter regret the quality of the work he had put into building that house. Only then did he regret everything he had done. Things he had done just to make it a little easier to get through a particular day, were coming back to haunt him.
I see this as such a good comparison to life. Our inner selves our true selves are a continual work in progress, constantly, “under construction”. Our bodies are our personal houses. Housing the true us, our spirits contained within, during our time on this earth. Do we want to end up as the carpenter did? Reach our end, with our houses (bodies) looking good or at least OK. But, in our hearts knowing of all the flaws and defective workmanship contained within.

Is it possible to attain perfection, of course not. At least not in this physical world. We are human and as such will always have some internal imperfections. We can though at least try our best. Our every day, every act is one more step in the building of our internal selves. Our every act whether and act of love, kindness, cruelty, deceit or whatever put another brick in place in the construction of our inner selves. Every time we take the easy way over what we may know to be the right way, another brick.

If only we would stop and see the big picture, today is not just today. It is an important day in the building of the true me.
I am feeling very guilty at the moment. Last week, I was the recipient of another act of kindness.

It is strange, today I had actually had a topic in mind. It was on misguided loyalty, maybe tomorrow we will see.

If only we would stop and see the big picture, today is not just today. It is an important day in the building of the true me.

I must have had a dream or something last night, what it was I have no idea. But, I had 2 ideas running around in my head. I wrote them down so as not to forget them also. I wish I could remember the whole dream, and then I could just pass it on. Then again it could be just some of the wild and wacky thoughts that come to this head of mine. I know there have been a few times when my friends have asked me: “where do you come up with these ideas?” It is then that I will try to put on my wisest look and reply with something like: “Ah, I dunno.”

As it is I guess I will have to put my own spin on those thought and what they could mean. Sort of like the Miq’s statistics I sometimes come up with. OK, here we go.

Picture this, a gigantic pile of small pebbles formed perfectly in the shape of a triangle. The number of pebbles in the pile exactly corresponds to the number of people on this earth about 6 1/2 billion. Now that many pebbles would make one honking big pile. Now also picture this, right beside the pile of pebbles is a huge hole in the ground that just happens to be of exact equal size to our mountain of pebbles. Now what if for some reason all these pebbles had to be picked up on at a time by hand and thrown into the hole. Now that would be a task of monumental size, but impossible???

I have to wonder how many people, myself included, would just look at that mountain of pebbles and the task at hand and just walk away. Thinking to themselves: “that is just an impossible task, there are just too many pebbles, and there is nothing I could do that would make any sort of difference.” They walk away having done nothing. There thinking being if I can’t do it all or at least make a really sizable contribution, I won’t bother doing anything, huh.

No matter what the task, the purpose or the cause at hand every little bit helps. Remember the number of pebbles in the pile exactly corresponds to the number of people on this earth. If we each did our own little bit how hare would that be? Soon that entire mountain would be gone; one stone at a time and it is gone.

Now let’s get back to that triangle shape. A triangle is a 3 sided figure in which no 2 sides directly oppose each other. I am struggling with wording here. I could use many different examples here to illustrate the point I am trying to make. I will use Religion. I don’t know how many wars have been fought or how many millions of people have suffered because of Religious differences. To me that just makes no sense at all.

I am no Religious scholar and do not profess to be knowledgeable about any of the Faiths. From my understanding all work, strive to help to make us better people. When you get to the very core of the beliefs there are more similarities than there are differences. Yes there are differences but none that I am aware of that put one directly opposing the other. Every Religion has it extremist element and for my point here I am taking this small percentage right out of the equation.

I would imagine, if somehow we were able to get the individual beliefs of every single person on this earth and form it into some sort of a chart of graph. It would be roughly in a flattened triangular shape. The bottom line in this triangle being (our similarities) being much longer than the upward reaching sides. I am sure there is some mathematical name for such a triangle and I am sure I knew it at one point. All I am trying to say is our similarities far outweigh our differences. Can we focus more on our similarities than our differences and work together.

Back to my triangular shaped pile of pebbles. What if each of those pebbles actually represented one of the problems in the world today. If we could each do our part and agree with all others to tackle the task from all 3 sides just think of how quickly we could make it just disappear. Have you reached out to move your pebble today?

Feeling pretty good, will try and get outside for a little fresh air and exercise.

Mother’s Day approaching and I have been spending a lot of time thinking of my own dear mother. In some ways it is hard to believe it has been 21 years and she still baby’s me. I can remember some of our talks like they were yesterday. In other ways it seems almost like forever since I last got to those lectures from her. Isn’t it almost strange how the passing of time can seem different? Maybe it is just our mood at the moment that determines if 21 years ago seems like yesterday or like it was forever ago.

My mother is an amazing lady. She had such a great internal strength that just kept her going through anything and everything. To say she had a hard life would be an understatement but nothing kept her down or really even hardly slowed her down. Her social work outside home that was part time and yet still came home and did everything in the home. It is only now with my more mature and I hope wiser eyes that I can really look back and see things as they were. It is only now that I can look and really see and appreciate how strong she was, how much she endured, how much she gave and how much she loved. How much I selfishly seemed to expect her to sacrifice of herself for me. I always felt love to my mother but those feelings just never even seemed to enter into the equation. I just knew what I wanted, what I expected and was mad if it didn’t work out the way I wanted. OK, granted I am talking about when I was a kid. From my youngest memory she was always just there and did everything for us. That she was there and that she would do everything was just taken for granted, just automatically accepted as the norm, was expected as who she was and what she was there fore.

I can see that when I was really young that would be natural. I kick myself so often now, when I think back and really wonder why when I grew into and advanced in my teens wasn’t I able to see this. I think I was just so self absorbed in my own life, my own wants and desires I just didn’t see things for what they were and just accepted that this was the norm, as it was the way it had always been, and as the way it should be.

It truly wasn’t until I had been out on my own for a few years that I began to really see things more clearly and I suppose in fact stop taking her for granted. I experienced life for myself; I worked and studied full time and had to come home to the house hold stuff. It was only then that I began to take on an appreciation for all that she was doing and of how hard it was on her year after year. As I advanced in my teen years I did a few things to help out around the house, but any effort I put in was pitifully small.

I look back with feelings of guilt, wondering how she must have been made to feel realizing that somehow she had been lowered to an almost servant status. Somehow, I don’t even think she ever likely saw it that way, more as her role in life as a mother. I know in my mind I certainly never saw her or thought of her as a servant or anything of the sort. It is just I realize that really that is how she was so often treated. Never did I see it or realize it at the time.

I think of the times she must have felt so disheartened, so frustrated, so tired and maybe even so unloved. I can’t remember any specific examples but I am sure there were many times after a hard full day at social work when she came home to 2 complaining little grandsons. Hungry and complaining about the minutes late she was. “Didn’t she realize, how inconvenient this was for me. I may have had plans for the evening and here she was late. Didn’t she know I had to have eaten and be out by a certain time or my plans might be delayed.” “Why couldn’t she understand how I had every right to be upset with her?” I was at the same place a couple of years back.

I regret it so much, how could I have allowed myself to grow into that mindset. Embarrassing as it is to admit it I did.

Reality didn’t hit me until a couple of years after I had been on my own dependant more on friends and less on family. I was likely feeling pretty proud of myself for my new found independence being off on my own. I remember arriving late afternoon, just before supper/dinner time. There were my 2 nephews, complaining of being hungry and wondering why mother was late getting home from work to prepare the meal. I guess I had been transformed, because I remember being shock, thinking what is the matter with you guys. You can cook for yourself and why aren’t you cooking supper for mother when she gets home (huh they’re kids). You are just sitting here, what is the matter with you. Somewhere in there it came to me that just a year or two previously I had been sitting on the same couch waiting in the same impatient way. Here I was questioning what was the matter with them, huh, the same thing that had been the matter with me. It was like a light had gone off in my head, the realization had set in. I remember that during this conversation my mother in fact arrived home and immediately began preparing the meal. Well with my new-found insight I was in there trying to help but she just kept shooing me away.

That truly was a life changing moment for me a great moment of learning. Never did I treat her the same, or even see her with the same eyes again. She was elevated back to her proper position as my respected and loved mother.

My mother is a wonderful Lady, she taught me so much. So much that makes me who I am today. The lesson she taught me here was to look at all relationships in my life and make sure I am treating everyone with dignity and respect. I learned that lesson that day, and it has stuck with me.