Posts Tagged ‘negative’

I’m taking a step back from what seems to have become my main topic this last while, abuse particularly abuse of women. I just find any kind of abuse so wrong. Have you ever had something that really bothered you, really really irritated you, something that you know is just so wrong. Something that you know is there, but you can’t actually see it, but you know it is happening, you desperately want to do something about it but seemingly just can’t. Well that is the way I feel about that issue. It is wrong, it is unloving, it is cruel, and yet accepted by many. I am certainly not abandoning it, just taking a break as I seem to get very worked up inside of myself just thinking of it. Frustrating, why can’t people just see!!!!!! I think maybe I will set up a separate page or something and invite real men to comment on how they treat their ladies the jerks in the world will realize that that is just what they are jerks and what they are doing is wrong.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

That is so right on, such a wonderful thought, if we can only learn to see it and realize it in our hearts.

Think about it, what in life is the only thing that really we cannot change, other people. Let’s face it, while it may be difficult, everything else in life can be changed. I am not saying it would be easy but jobs can be changed, housing can be changed. When it comes right down to it, there really is nothing in our lives that can’t be changed, except other people. We can’t make other people change; we may try, even hope and pray for another to change. Ultimately we must accept that, no matter how hard we try, or what we do, we can’t change other people, into being the person we want them to be. For better or worse they are who they are and we must accept that, come to terms with it.

“The courage to change the things I can. Where can I make the biggest change the most important change, is within myself and for myself. I and only I am the master of my own destiny. I and only I am responsible for my life. I and only I must make the decisions and have the courage to accept responsibility for my own life. Have the courage to make changes as I see needing to be made. I think we often abdicate responsibility for our lives as they are today. Maybe, it is more like an avoidance issue. It is easier to avoid dealing with our lives as they are today, by putting off the issues until tomorrow. Life will be so much better: when I get the new job. When we get a bigger house, when the kid’s leave home…….. What did we just do with that, avoided dealing with our lives. It is easier to dream of a better life at some point in the future than it is to have the courage to deal with it now. If we don’t deal with our issues nothing will ever change in our contentment and serenity in life. It is not outside factors that determine the quality of life that is determined only from within.

“The wisdom to know the difference”. This is so big. The wisdom to know we cannot expect or even force others to change to fit our expectations. We can’t change others no matter how we try. (excluding parents raising children). To truly live a happy and contented life, the only thing we can change is ourselves. It is futile to expect another to change, not going to happen, unless they want it, and then they will change to who and what they want, not necessarily what we still want. All we can change is ourselves. That does take courage, but it can be done. The first single step takes the most courage from there it is more determination and a sense of direction as to where you want to take your life. If you don’t have a goal or a target in mind how can you know what steps to be taking to get there.

Feeling really tired right now, but have no one but myself to blame for that. Was up unusually late watching TV. Ever watched a movie and it really isn’t all that good, but you keep watching waiting for something to happen but it never does. I am then kicking myself for sitting up so late to watch something so silly. Makes you almost feel like a bit of an idiot or something. Well I seem to be able to outdo most in the idiot department. Right after the movie ended, I was surprised to see they had made a sequel. Yup, did the same thing and watched it all the way through. Thank goodness I have the luxury of nap time; I most certainly will be taking advantage of that today.

This morning I received an email from a friend directed me to a different site where she created a word picture using many of the supportive words I use so often in my posts. That is such a beautiful thing and I do thank you so much.

In her email one paragraph in particular really hit me:

“I always knew that words have great power to heal or to hurt. I may not have fully appreciated it until my exposure to verbal abuse. I’ll have to blog about this word power idea soon. Perhaps one positive result of my experience will be that I become more mindful of the impact of my words on others, and on myself for that matter.”

How many times have I heard or read that verbal (emotional) abuse can have a must longer and deeper impact on a person than even physical abuse. Physical scars and bruising heal much more quickly than emotional ones.

Emotional bruises and scarring take much longer to heal and can stay with a person for their entire life time. Not always but often this time of long term hurt is caused by words. Depending on where and who these words come from they can cut down inside to our very soul.

I would imagine most of us at one time or another have at least heard of this, the terrible power that can be contained within a few words. We know of how words can be just devastating, we realize that. We know that “mere” words can have such a devastatingly negative impact. I ask then wouldn’t it just stand to reason, if we look at the flip side of the coin, that “mere” words could have a wonderfully healthy healing power to them. If words can tear us down then obviously words can build us up in a healthy positive way.

I think if we really look at it, we will or at least I have realized how much quicker words of criticism can spring to mind as opposed to words of praise. I know this and actually do make a conscious effort to avoid using critical words and instead look for opportunities to lavish praise when warranted. Key words in that line were make an effort, sometimes in spite of my best efforts, oh well I will keep working at it.

Within each of us we hold a great healing power, with the power of our words. This can be applied to each and every relationship in our lives each and every day. By relationship naturally in mean spouse, kids, family and friends. But I am also referring to all relationships and interactions with people in our lives generally. Let’s take a waiter in a restaurant or a cashier in a supermarket. At certain times these people will very briefly enter our lives. But even if it is just for a few minutes, we enter into a very short term, very casual relationship with them. For those few minutes they do play an important part in our lives.

Let me give but 2 examples. Let’s stay with the waiter in the restaurant. We have all had occasions where we have had just exceptionally great service. He/she has gone out of their way to serve us, above and beyond what we would normally get. Generally, we do acknowledge that by leaving a little larger tip. Now I am sure that is appreciated but it is totally non personal. How much extra effort would it take us to just say a few words to the individual. Thank them for the wonderful service they gave you, voice your appreciation. How can we know what is going on in the life of another. Possibly that waiter/waitress is going through a really tough time in life and had to dig down deep within themselves to be able to give you the high quality service. Just a few words of recognition and appreciation may well be just what they need to hear to help get them through the day. There is really no way we can ever know. Really, what did it cost us to spend that extra 15 or 20 seconds to verbalize our appreciation of the service.

One more example from within our own families. I think or at least I hope we all know how wrong it would be to tell our children they are stupid or bad or any such thing. The long term affects of such comments can be devastating. We can be oh, so quick to recognize and verbalize our dissatisfaction on how our children are misbehaving. Are we as quick to jump in with a positive loving comment when they do behave? Now here I am not talking about things like when your child comes home with an A on a report card. Or course we are proud and congratulate them on a job well done. But, I am talking here more of the regular day to day activities, in just our daily routine. I don’t know but I would guess that if the average parent had some way of actually keeping track of every comment made to their child in any given day would likely see the comments containing some sort of negative connotation far outnumber’s the positive. It seems to me anyway that particularly with our spouse, kids and other family. We take good for granted, that is what is expected and we never comment on it. Act in anyway other than what we consider to be good and the comments spew forth very quickly.

Why is it we seem to make a conscious effort at times to avoid making negative comments, biting our tongues or whatever? Why don’t we put at least that same amount of effort into looking for positive and healing messages.

Each and every one of us has a great power within us. The power to help heal others through our words. We all have the words within, let’s get them out and start a whole lot of healing.

Had a real lazy day yesterday, just lounged around and really did nothing. Hey that is not far off my normal day.

I wonder how much time most people spend thinking about funerals. Very little, if even any I would imagine. Sadly, at a few times in our lives we attend one, when a loved one passes over. As it rightfully should be, most of our thoughts are with our grieving and sorrow. Paying our respects and saying final good byes. I have luckily had to attend very few funerals in my life time, but have on occasion viewed them as events that must be endure, and I just want them over with. Grief is such an individual thing, for me, at first I just want to be left alone. Let me think on this, digest this new development and then I will be ready to talk.

I have heard it so many times funerals are the living and not actually for the deceased loved one. I absolutely agree with this and have said many times it is so much harder on the loved ones left behind. I am all for anything that will help those left behind. The funeral may be a good place to let emotions out, to find some degree of closure. I don’t know how all that psychological stuff works, but whatever it takes is a good thing.

There is an issue I have been wrestling with in my mind of late. I know this is my human mind, my physical mind grappling with issues beyond my understanding, while at this physical level. I just can’t fully understand or appreciate the beauty and purity of the love contained within the spiritual world.

Example, I don’t know how it all works but I believe after you have passed over, you are still able to look back here into this physical world and even be here in a spiritual form to comfort loved ones. In a spiritual form you could attend your own funeral or at least watch from above.

I know when in spirit form we will be of pure love and goodness, absolutely no negativity. My human mind just can’t grasp that concept. I know this in not correct but in my mind I keep thinking even while in Heaven, if you looked down say at your own funeral and suppose not one came. Wouldn’t you be just a little disappointed, now I know this is wrong even as I say it. Just one of my human thoughts and weaknesses.

I wonder about my own funeral, when that time comes. Over my career, I have moved many times from location to location and have made friends everywhere I went. But all seemed to be short term friendships, I seemed to move on to a new group of friends with each move. When my time comes it will be interesting to see who attends.

This may sound strange but the past few days I have been thinking about my thinking, where do some of my thoughts come from. Now I am not talking about here on the blog, I believe I know that. I am talking in just every day, day to day stuff.

At times I wonder about the brain not functioning. It is there, about the size of a large walnut. It’s located on the right frontal side. This is I am told the part of the brain that we use for things like judgment, control of impulsive actions, actually quite a few things that sort of determine the person I am. Our brain is naturally contained within the confines of our skull. Being confined as such, there is no natural room for swelling or for such a thing as a tumor.

I am what I consider to be a deep thinker and not prone to acting impulsively but I have notice that now arising and will just have to be more aware.

Just realized something, if I write something stupid or ridiculous, I can just blame it on the non-functioning of the brain. lol

First off, I believe in equality in every aspect, no exceptions. OK, that is a given. But, my mind is wandering along the lines, is there or should there at least be one additional expectation of men. Maybe some of this stems from something I can remember my mother saying when I was young. You know how something’s just sort of stand out or stick in your mind, well this is one of those for me.

“Always be a man. A real man is a gentleman. A gentleman always shows due respect to others. Under no circumstances would a gentleman ever hit a woman or anyone smaller than himself. He will always stand up to protect and defend his loved ones, himself and anyone in need.”

There may have been more, that I don’t remember. I like to consider myself a gentleman. Have there been times in my life where I know I have fallen short of that definition, sadly yes. But, it is something I have tried to generally live my life by.

I know there is an equally good argument about the ladies standing up and maybe one day I will post my thoughts on that. But, today I am just talking about the men and specifically in the home, thoughts on other areas of life will likely follow.

I just can’t fathom how any male that sees himself as really being a man, “the man of the house” could use his possible greater size and strength to do anything but protect your loved ones. There is no circumstance, situation or event, as angry as you may be, that could justify violence against women and children. THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS, NONE. It is time for all real men to stand up and be counted, show yourself as being a man. If anyone realizes in their hearts, changes could be make. How about starting that change today, right now.

As men, we do often possess a larger physical stature and even greater physical strength. Let’s use that in the way it was meant to be used.

I guarantee, I will never strike a woman or child.

I guarantee, I will never use my size to bully anyone, ever.

I guarantee, if we hear a noise in the middle of the night. I will be the one checking it out, baseball bat in hand.

I guarantee, if anyone says or does anything, I ever perceive as being done to intentionally hurt my loved ones. I will be in your face, immediately.

It is almost strange reading that last point. I know it to be true. The strange part is I am a very easy going relaxed kind of guy. Very little upsets or bothers me, say or do something to me and I will very likely just laugh it off. Do the very same thing to my family, different story all together.

A direct question to every male reading this. Are you a gentleman, a real man or merely an over sized jerk pretending to be a man? Give it some thought before you automatically reply.

I have commented many times on how I appreciate all comments and of how I read and reread them all. I have thought different times of inviting people to just ask me any questions they may have of me. This thought was brought to mind again yesterday with a comment I received from “just ordinary”. I am receptive to any questions and would do my best to answer based on my own thoughts and experiences. I am not a doctor and would be reluctant to go into the medical area beyond my own symptoms. If anyone has questions please feel free to ask away.

This brings me back to the question asked by just ordinary. Have I always believed in God? Simple answer is yes, always. I have never had a great awakening or anything like that; I can only imagine it was my parent’s thoughts and teachings that gave me this belief. I must have been very very young as I can’t actually remember any time in which they spoke of it and keep reminding me of it. It is just a strong belief I have always carried with me. I am not what you consider to be a religious man and rarely went to mosque except for weddings and funerals, this is nothing to be proud of but still I regret.
I am embarrassed to admit but even with the knowledge of our Father my side for the majority of my life, I did things my way. I knew what best for me. As I think now and looking back I realize there was a point where maybe I had an awakening or a realization, I am not sure how to word it. This was back before my serious health problems had actually begun. I was in the midst of a major life crisis. I was going through what for me was a very painful phase. I was depressed, felt lost, realizing my life wasn’t going at all the way I had envisioned or planned. I came to the realization that doing things “my way” wasn’t giving me the life I wanted so desperately. Slowly I turned to my faith and started putting my beliefs into practice instead of just having them tucked away somewhere in the back of my mind.

Reality came as a bit of a shock to me. I actually had thought I was “a good practicing Muslim but I wasn’t”. I mean I then was going to Mosque regularly, I prayed. I mean what more could I do. I suppose maybe I was taking it for granted. I knew God was there and he would take care of me. When I prayed I realized I was just mumbling a bunch of words out of habit or out of the feeling that is what I should do, with no real thought of meaning to them. The day these problems ended I was all the same again.

I found as I slowly truly turned to my faith instead of just paying lip service to it, my life began to change. I always believed God was with me and he was. Always there willing and waiting to help. I just had to turn to him and be willing to accept that help. The more I turned to my faith the more my life began to change. Now, I just think, man, would my life have been so much easier so much better if I had just done that 10 years earlier.

I suppose it could be said I moved the beliefs I have always had, from just in my head, to being in my heart. As my faith has declined, I can’t describe the embarrassment that it has brought me.

This is the point where I enter a new chapter, a new place, a new existence in this “life, part 2” of mine.

There has been a shift, one so stark and unignorable that I have very quickly made some important decisions about myself and my life and have begun to act on those.

The other night, I lay in bed, wide awake at 2 a.m., feeling this immense pressure on my chest. Everything about my life felt too overwhelming. I kept thinking about this last year, everything that has happened, how it’s affected me, what it all means for my future; I was wondering how I could continue to carry all this and move forward at the same time, knowing it would be impossible, when in a flash, a wave of anger washed over me.

“What the Hell, man?” That’s exactly what I told myself. “Why am I in this agony when I’m the only one in it? Why am I stressing over other people and whatever shit they have going on in their heads, especially when none of them stress about me?” It was a night where I asked a series of questions of myself – a lot of “why’s” – where I indulged in one final pity party even as I lay there facing some very harsh truths.

And from there, it all took a turn. I realized that (due to a few specific events/reasons) I was living in this suspended state of tension – like when you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. And in that state, you just can’t move or do much. I’ve been waiting for something to happen – for a change, for words, for something.

And the truth is, there’s nothing. There’s nothing but all that is right in front of me. How can I wait or wonder about or expect something beyond all that is right before me? I am suddenly very aware of how I apply this concept in all aspects of my life: I am always wondering if the people around me are holding back; I’m always waiting for more – for their real feelings, their real thoughts. Why don’t I just take it all at face value? If someone doesn’t say more, or something different, isn’t there a greater chance that they don’t simply because the more or the different is just not there?

So with all this, during that long, torturous night, I realized I had to stop it. I realized I was entitled to my sadness and my anger and my frustration, but that I could not let them control me, nor let them cloud my life. They are there. They will be there for God knows how long. But they are not me, and they don’t have the right to keep robbing me of all the possibilities before me.

It is just that I am so indescribably tired of everything. I am especially tired of myself, of being this person who devotes way too much time and energy and emotion to people and relationships in way that is just too one-sided. I am tired of hope, of thinking that there must be something better, because that notion will keep me tied to an illusion for an indefinite amount of time if I continue with it. I have told myself for months now to keep my chin up, to be hopeful of life, to stay open – blah, blah, blah. For now, it is just done for me. No more. No more of this ridiculous bullshit; I’m over it.

I have realized that there are just some things that I have to accept, whether I like it or not, whether I think it’s fair or not. I just have to accept it. And I have to do whatever it takes to keep my life moving forward, no matter how drastic, no matter the cost. I have had this recurring vision of myself standing still while all around me thousands of tiny axes fall; it is a bizarre but accurate description of what I feel. I am at this point determined to take whatever measures necessary until I am free of this sucking agony that has taken every shred of happiness from me.

I am done – so, so, so done. I miss smiling easily and being light-hearted and in a playful mood; I miss not being so freakishly sensitive and taking everything personally. I miss my self-esteem and self-confidence. So there is no more of this shit. No more me stressing over others, stressing over what they think of me, what they feel (or don’t) for me, stressing over all the ways in which I fail. There is no more me measuring my words, acting cautiously for fear of pissing someone off.

I haven’t got much of a definite plan right now, but the shift that I needed has occurred. And now, I am committed to seeing this through to a better end.

Yesterday, I felt pretty good for the part of the day that I was awake. I always seem to feel tired and yesterday was another day that I slept most of it away.

I spend so much time reflecting back on my life. I seem to see things so differently now. Via email, I received one of those inspirational type messages. It was the story of a very skilled carpenter that took great pride and care in ensuring every job was done well. After many years of quality work, it reached the point he decided to retire and informed his employer of this. On hearing this, his employer practically begged him to build on last house. Out of loyalty and respect for the employer he agreed. But as the construction began it was obvious his heart wasn’t in it. He began taking short cuts, using shoddy materials, putting forth less than his best effort, anything he could to just get through each day. Ultimately, the house was finished, on the outside it looked good and only the carpenter in his heart knew of the inferior work contained within. Upon completion the employer handed the carpenter the keys to the house, gifting it to him in recognition of the years of good work. Now only when it was too late did the carpenter regret the quality of the work he had put into building that house. Only then did he regret everything he had done. Things he had done just to make it a little easier to get through a particular day, were coming back to haunt him.
I see this as such a good comparison to life. Our inner selves our true selves are a continual work in progress, constantly, “under construction”. Our bodies are our personal houses. Housing the true us, our spirits contained within, during our time on this earth. Do we want to end up as the carpenter did? Reach our end, with our houses (bodies) looking good or at least OK. But, in our hearts knowing of all the flaws and defective workmanship contained within.

Is it possible to attain perfection, of course not. At least not in this physical world. We are human and as such will always have some internal imperfections. We can though at least try our best. Our every day, every act is one more step in the building of our internal selves. Our every act whether and act of love, kindness, cruelty, deceit or whatever put another brick in place in the construction of our inner selves. Every time we take the easy way over what we may know to be the right way, another brick.

If only we would stop and see the big picture, today is not just today. It is an important day in the building of the true me.
I am feeling very guilty at the moment. Last week, I was the recipient of another act of kindness.

It is strange, today I had actually had a topic in mind. It was on misguided loyalty, maybe tomorrow we will see.

If only we would stop and see the big picture, today is not just today. It is an important day in the building of the true me.

I am trying my best to be I suppose you could call it a student of life. In my own way I am trying to learn and understand more about life in general and of people all people. To get a better understanding of actions and reactions to situations in life. What I am learning is of how little I really know or understand. Sounds strange maybe but I realize the more I think I learn the less I realize I understand???? A few examples of the things that having me going, HUH???

Now, I think it is a fair statement to make, that, the vast majority of people do not want to die. Now that sounds pretty straight forward and simple. I can easily understand that, I can relate to that. Now here is the part I just do not understand. We do not want to die so obviously we want to go on living, our lives are precious to us. Again, I can certainly relate. Now here is the part I don’t understand. We all recognize and appreciate how precious our lives are, how precious our time on this planet is. But, do we really? We each know our individual time here is limited, we see how precious it is, but what are we doing with it? Why do we take time for granted always assuming there will be many tomorrows in which we can enjoy life. I think we live with so many thoughts of the future we forget to live today. Not sure where I heard this: “Life is not about learning how to weather a storm; it is about learning how to dance in the rain.” Thank about that as you go about your day.

As a society it seems to me anyway, that we are only comfortable dealing with or even thinking about death and dying when it is maybe in the abstract almost. By that I mean when it is happening to people far far away. People that we are not related to or associated with in anyway and somehow talking about them dying is an “OK” subject. Or, at least it doesn’t seem to make us feel as uncomfortable. Suddenly though if the topic hits closer to home it becomes more uncomfortable, we don’t want to talk about it or even think about it. Is it the fear of loss that affects us so deeply. A loved one passes and we have a really sense of loss. It is not only a sense of loss but a real loss in our lives. Without that person there our lives are changed forever, no denying that. Our lives are changed yes but can be and will be just as good with time. i have to wonder, we are grieving a loss, is that our main fear in this whole thing. We are grieving our own personal loss what is missing out of our lives. I don’t know are we really grieving more for ourselves than the other person. I don’t know that was just a thought that popped into my head.

What about if we are facing our own passing? Well actually that statement applies to every single person on this planet, it is just the timing. Struggling with wording, does that make sense? Can we become so obsessed with not wanting to lose our lives that we forget to live them while we still can?

Wow, I really got off track here as I rambled on. I’ve got to share a new perspective. It is when you lose people in terms of relationships. When people get into relationships or what you call friends with benefits, this is time when their priorities change; they value their partner more and dike you whenever they want to. This is so unfair. For the past six months this happens frequently with me. What to do? I can’t get any solutions to this issue. Then I thought how about we be the same with them and talk to them the way we used to. They may realize some day that they were wrong and come back to you, but this technique of mine seems to be a heart eiderdown, it’s not working too. Good luck to all those people who fall in this category.

As this was the last post of this file, I’ll take a week off before I start a new file.

Good Day 🙂

I must have had a dream or something last night, what it was I have no idea. But, I had 2 ideas running around in my head. I wrote them down so as not to forget them also. I wish I could remember the whole dream, and then I could just pass it on. Then again it could be just some of the wild and wacky thoughts that come to this head of mine. I know there have been a few times when my friends have asked me: “where do you come up with these ideas?” It is then that I will try to put on my wisest look and reply with something like: “Ah, I dunno.”

As it is I guess I will have to put my own spin on those thought and what they could mean. Sort of like the Miq’s statistics I sometimes come up with. OK, here we go.

Picture this, a gigantic pile of small pebbles formed perfectly in the shape of a triangle. The number of pebbles in the pile exactly corresponds to the number of people on this earth about 6 1/2 billion. Now that many pebbles would make one honking big pile. Now also picture this, right beside the pile of pebbles is a huge hole in the ground that just happens to be of exact equal size to our mountain of pebbles. Now what if for some reason all these pebbles had to be picked up on at a time by hand and thrown into the hole. Now that would be a task of monumental size, but impossible???

I have to wonder how many people, myself included, would just look at that mountain of pebbles and the task at hand and just walk away. Thinking to themselves: “that is just an impossible task, there are just too many pebbles, and there is nothing I could do that would make any sort of difference.” They walk away having done nothing. There thinking being if I can’t do it all or at least make a really sizable contribution, I won’t bother doing anything, huh.

No matter what the task, the purpose or the cause at hand every little bit helps. Remember the number of pebbles in the pile exactly corresponds to the number of people on this earth. If we each did our own little bit how hare would that be? Soon that entire mountain would be gone; one stone at a time and it is gone.

Now let’s get back to that triangle shape. A triangle is a 3 sided figure in which no 2 sides directly oppose each other. I am struggling with wording here. I could use many different examples here to illustrate the point I am trying to make. I will use Religion. I don’t know how many wars have been fought or how many millions of people have suffered because of Religious differences. To me that just makes no sense at all.

I am no Religious scholar and do not profess to be knowledgeable about any of the Faiths. From my understanding all work, strive to help to make us better people. When you get to the very core of the beliefs there are more similarities than there are differences. Yes there are differences but none that I am aware of that put one directly opposing the other. Every Religion has it extremist element and for my point here I am taking this small percentage right out of the equation.

I would imagine, if somehow we were able to get the individual beliefs of every single person on this earth and form it into some sort of a chart of graph. It would be roughly in a flattened triangular shape. The bottom line in this triangle being (our similarities) being much longer than the upward reaching sides. I am sure there is some mathematical name for such a triangle and I am sure I knew it at one point. All I am trying to say is our similarities far outweigh our differences. Can we focus more on our similarities than our differences and work together.

Back to my triangular shaped pile of pebbles. What if each of those pebbles actually represented one of the problems in the world today. If we could each do our part and agree with all others to tackle the task from all 3 sides just think of how quickly we could make it just disappear. Have you reached out to move your pebble today?

So yeah, almost done with this semester, closing down business for a month so I can hug my bed every day for a longer period of time.

I have a lot of time these days to sit and think. Now that in itself can be a mixed blessing. When you have the luxury of this time, it can be so very easy to allow your thoughts to wander and stay on the negatives or things that we perceive as negatives in our lives at the time. OK, it is important at times to really think about this sort of stuff but not to dwell on it, if you know what I mean. If our minds are going to dwell on anything, let’s make it on the positive things in our lives. I don’t care who you are or what your circumstances may be, there are many positives in your life. Sometimes granted it seems we have to look for them, but they are there. I have a challenge for everyone. Tonight as you lay in bed, before you go to sleep search your mind to find a positive in your life. No matter how big or small it may be recognize it as a positive, take a moment to be grateful for it, appreciate you are indeed lucky to have it. Every night search your mind for one more thing. In time you can see you are in fact surrounded by them.  I know I have many many things to be grateful for, positives in my life.

I spend a lot of my thinking time, “solving the problems of the world”. Now this is important stuff for me to figure out, should I ever be elected “King of the World”  lol. It would be good to know how to deal with all of this. This is all kind of strange in that the more I read, the more I ponder and meditate, the more I realize I don’t know. Huh, maybe I am moving backwards in this whole process.

I am realizing that there is very little in life that is just straight forward, cut and dry. Very few things are as plain as black and white, there are all sorts of shades of gray mixed in with this all. I am finding there are fewer and fewer issues in life that I am solidly on one side or the other. I am finding myself in that gray zone seeing validity to both sides of most arguments. Now, I am not talking about things like murder or rape or anything like that, I am talking more about life issues. Every coin has 2 sides to it. On both sides you will always have the extremists that believe their way is the only way. But, really how much of life is that cut and dry. Aren’t there always the “yeah, but what if….. scenarios”. You know the exceptions to the rule. The exceptions where suddenly we find ourselves saying: “well maybe given this situation it might be alright this time, but just this once.” I think these are likely the times when the “situation” affects directly on us or one of our own. Are we less likely to see there could be exceptions when the “situation” involves other and has nothing to do with ourselves. Hmm think about it!!

Let me give an example of what I may ponder on. Hey, maybe I will throw these out there more often and get feed back. OK, this issue, I have my strong views and I do lean to one side of the issue but am still a little in the gray zone. I am looking for feedback and I will share my own thoughts in a few days. This is something I have been thinking about but it again brought to mind by a blog I saw when signing on to wordpress this morning.

I am going to try to present both sides of the coin as best I can. Huh, I have been sitting here trying to come up with wording. I am not a writer but a rambler. I realize I can’t really represent one side of the story. It is about abortion right or wrong? I don’t think I really need to present both sides of the coin, I think all know them already. As I have said I already have my own thoughts on this and will share them in a day or two. I ask you some of the questions on which I have thought.

1. Should a woman not have the right to determine what happens to her own body?

2. Life, is a God given gift, what give us as humans the right to decide whether or not a baby should live?

3. Is the situation that cut and dry or can there be exceptions to any rule?

4. Many say abortion is an option if the mother’s life is in jeopardy. Who determines what level of jeopardy that warrantees and abortion? How is the mother’s life given priority over the babies?

5. Many claim abortion is murder and even that the doctors that perform them should be charged with murder. OK, if it is murder then shouldn’t the mothers be charged with something also as it was them that instigated the whole situation?

Do any of the above thoughts reflect my feelings, not at all. Just thoughts that come to mind as I ponder. When I do this, I try my best to look at both sides of the coin to see which side I am on. What do you think? Don’t accuse life of being a bitch but it is we who instigate problems.

One of my recent posts has come back to haunt me. Thoughts that just occasionally rattle around in this empty head of mine.

One of the questions was to the effect, if you somehow knew you only had 5 minutes to live and could leave behind but one recorded message, what would it be, and to whom would you leave it? I was looking for thoughts or ideas from readers. Now I find I have received 3 different emails asking me how in fact I would answer that very question. Now that is actually something I have given thought to over the past couple of years. I”d know what I would want my message to be, it is just how to find the words to express it. I have actually tried to write it out a couple of times but find myself getting lost and going in circles. I am not a writer and have never tried to pretend I am. I am a rambler, I just start typing and what comes out is what it is, so here goes.

First to my family I want to express my undying love. Tell each individually how proud I am of them, how proud, blessed and lucky I am to have them in my family, in my life. i would want to thank all of my friends for honoring me by spending some of their precious time on this earth with me. To any that may chose to read this, may God bless you.

Live Life, be happy. Seek to enjoy every moment of our precious time on this earth. The ability to live life, enjoy life and be happy is right there in front of each of us. We just have to recognize it, reach out and grab it. Every day, every moment we are faced with a decision. As our lives unfold before us, circumstance, situations will develop around us, many of which we have no control over. Life just happens and we are there for the ride. Life or at least any individual part of it may not be the ride we had hoped for but it is what we have at that moment. There are no constants in life, this to shall change. If you are in a bad patch, live the best way you can, knowing this too shall change. If you are in a high spot live it to the max. Remembering this too shall change, this is life something will come along to give your ride even a little bump.

There are always 2 ways to look at everything. We make the choice to look at events with a positive mindset or a negative mindset. As hard as it may seem at times that choice is indeed ours to make. As we make that choice we affect no one but ourselves, the quality of the life we live, the enjoyment we get out of it.

Don’t take things in life personally. If someone say lashes out at you in an unkind, rude or nasty manner. Try to remember, their action is prompted by where they are in their heads at the time, the type of mindset they are carrying. Just because they in their mind are in a bad place doesn’t mean we have to allow them to drag us in our thinking to a similar place. We are only responsible for our own lives, our own thoughts and actions. As we are responsible for our own lives, it is up to us to ensure we care for ourselves by not allowing others to drag us down.

There is another conscious choice we make regularly. Is it better to be “right” or is it better to be happy. I chose happy. Every single person we meet in our journey through life is travelling their own path, which may not be the same as that I have chosen for myself. With this thoughts and feelings on virtually every topic you can imagine may vary. This applies to family, friends, everyone you are going to meet. As I have followed my path, based on my own experiences, my thought on any individual issue may well differ from yours. There is always more than one path anywhere, always more than one way to do most things in life. What could make me think my way is the only right way? Suppose I was in a conflict with anyone, a friend, colleagues, coworkers. Suppose in this conflict, I “KNOW” I am right. At the very same time based on their lives, they also “know” they are right. I am faced with a choice, 2 ways to look at everything. Do I want to push on to “make” everyone else see that I am indeed right or do I want to be happy. I choose happy. In my own mind I am comfortable knowing for me and my thoughts I am indeed right and as I do want happiness more than being recognized as being right I just let it go. Don’t take things personally, be happy!

I likely have more but 5 minutes might be up, don’t know and I am tired.