Greatness…

Friendship’s the privilege of private men; for wretched greatness knows no blessing so substantial.

Time and again I’ve written about how great I am. When clearly I’m not. Life’s really difficult not because you have heroes to worship but mediocrity to compete with. And it is for such reasons why I find it difficult to come to terms with things. Psychology I believe is one of the most under rated sciences of our times. Yes I’ve indulged in the occasional messing of the mind… the psychological warfare, but yes the hunter becomes the hunted at times. On a totally different matter there are people who have the power to bullshit you right to your face. You know excuses are something that should actually be believable and well have some truth to it.

So my word of advice, well think about yourself, philanthropy is overrated. The art of bullshitting is something you need to develop, so that people think you’re smart. Other than that, a very very old friend told me that pretenders are far worse than actual enemies, cause they will eventually screw you. And being solitary is very liberating.

“One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though … betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope.”

Update…

It is amazing how fast the summer seems to have slipped by. We have been blessed to have just about non stop company. Wonderful, yes, but at the same time tiring. We have had a lot of very hot and humid days which do seem to suck the energy right out of me.

I had the occasion to learn of an area within myself that I do need to work on.  I guess it goes to the saying once a fool always a fool. Given the right set of circumstances an angry “Teenager” can come to the surface.

I plan on being on the computer more regularly in the future. Part of what comes with family visits that include teenagers is reduced access to the computer. lol

I am doing well, feeling fine and thank all for the comments left.

What is Wrong?

Today is 2nd August,  the second day of the month when our country got its independence and we are harassed by the situation through which our country is going through. Floods, target killing and now one of our MPA’s was shot dead. The citizens haven’t been able to get over the tragedy of the plane crash in which every person had a 6 degree relation with some or other one. I knew at least 4 people who died, one was a person with whom I discussed business, a person belonging to the same school and one of my school mates husband and the his brother. We still don’t know what the reality was of the plane crash. Does any of our politician have an answer to it. How can an experienced pilot do such foolish thing?  What was wrong in the plane? Some says a missile fire, some says it was hijacked, some says it was because of the jammers, some says it was because the run way was busy the pilot was asked to take another round and come back after 5 minutes. Can we please get an answer to our queries till when in the government going to hide the realities from us we need the answers.

Then we have the natural flood which has completely taken over with more than 1500 people dead. Where are all our volunteers, why isn’t the government sending them the required aid. And in these situations how can our bloody President go out and have fun in England in an expensive suite, how can he even sleep when his people are dying of hunger and poverty.

Now here we have another MPA dying because of traget killing while he is doing his Wuddu in the Masjid and then we call ourselves Muslim??? Is this what Islam teaches us to kill people in Masjid isn’t Islam suppose to be the name of tolerance?

what is happening to my country when will we be able to come out of all these problems. Till when we as a nation will stay quite. Please have mercy on yourselves and stand up and raise your voices before its too late before we end up in a situation where we are not able to do anything. Stand up not for others but for your nation and for your selves for your better future.

Don’t Waste Your Life…

It surprises me when I seem to surprise others by the way I am living my life. Example, the other day I was out cutting the grass and was at the time taking one of my rest breaks, huffing and puffing trying to catch my breath. A concerned neighbor approached me asking if I was OK and should I be doing this (cutting the grass). I thanked him for the concern and assured him I was just catching my breath.

That short exchange got me thinking. I am not dead yet and until I am, I am going to carry on living life as much as I can and that does include things like cutting the grass. Our home is just on a normal city sized lot. There was a time when I could cut the grass front and back in maybe half an hour. Now it takes me about 3 hours with all my little rest breaks, but so what. The important thing to me is I can still do it and I am still doing what I can. To me something as simple as cutting the grass is living life. That I am going to continue doing and if I have anything so say about it, I will still be cutting my grass years from now.

I am not sure if what I just said there makes much sense. Like, “whoopee he can cut his grass, big deal.” Well to me it is a big deal, cutting that grass does take a lot out of me. It would be much “easier” for me to just retreat to my comfy chair and spend the day between reading, watching TV and visiting the blog and there are MANY days when that is what I do. I am at peace with myself and content when that is how my day goes. I have come to realize as we all should that energy levels can vary from day to day, what I was able to accomplish yesterday may well beyond my ability today. That does apply to everyone in everyday life. Do the best you can each day but don’t expect “perfection” each and every day. That is something though those families of terminal or very ill patients should understand. No that is something everyone should understand about everyone in life. I am doing the best I can today but that very well may not be the same as my best either yesterday or even tomorrow.

Very very few people want to die. They cherish their lives as they have them and don’t want to lose them. I ask this question, if you don’t want to give up your life as it is precious to you, why would you consider giving up really living it right up to that last breath?  If we value our lives, our time so very much that we fear losing it, why are we wasting so much of it? A moment spent in anger or any other feelings of negativity and moments of potential happiness lost forever. Just think about that and let me know what you think.

Self Image…

I have come to realize throughout most of my life, I have been my own worst enemy. Now I am no different than anyone else so I imagine that same would apply to many others. Now I know I have heard that same statement from others. So very often we know it but what are we doing about it.

We are so very often more critical of ourselves than we are of others, why? There are just dozens and dozens of example I could give of this self depreciating sort of thinking. It extends all the way to thoughts of not being good enough or unworthy. Now who is it that has made that call, made that decision that we are not good enough or unworthy? We have, we do it to ourselves!! Somehow, we allow the world around us, the people around us to create our own self-image. We allow others to create and imagine in our minds of how we see ourselves, now think about it, how wrong is that? And why is it that it seems we can take on the negative so much easier than the positive?

When I really think of it, it seems so obvious the answers to a better, healthier, happier life all lie within us. We need to come to peace within ourselves, seeing ourselves for who we really are and not in the light of the image we have taken on from the world around us. Very easy to say but can be so hard to do. The biggest question is, are we at least trying to do something about that false negative image the world has handed us? Or, are we just sit around wallowing in it, because we are not “good enough” or not “strong enough” to do anything about it? Even the longest journey or the hardest task begins with a first step. Why can’t today be the day you make that first step or another step in this recovery process?

I believe we are Spiritual Beings sent to this earth for a physical experience and to learn lessons in life. These lessons revolve around all the human emotions and feelings, love, empathy, pity………. While we are here the Good Lord will place us in situations or present us with opportunities to learn these lessons. To learn these lessons “problems” are placed in our path, through which we can indeed learn and grow as people. Think about it, if we were placed in a life in which we just sailed calmly and pleasantly through it, how would we grow? Throughout our entire lives we will be presented with similar opportunities to learn and grow until we finally get it. This learning and growing comes from within. Our worldly position has nothing to do with it, it is all within ourselves.

I have recently come to finally realize one of my lessons, or at least what it is. PRIDE. Now I don’t mean the boastful sort of pride. I mean the sort of pride, where you are too proud to ask for help when it is needed or too proud to accept it even if it is offered. I can look back over my life and see so very many times I was presented with the opportunity to learn how wrong being too proud to ask for or accept help. I can now see how very much harder I made my own life with the stubbornness, I can handle it myself attitude, I don’t need help. I mean asking for help would be a sign or weakness or incompetency, wouldn’t it? Geesh, was I wrong, it is but a sign of being human.

The opportunities to learn this lesson have followed me all of my life, right up to and including the present. Over the past years failing health has forced me into the position where I must ask for help, be somewhat dependant on others. I am a slow learner, it has taken me a long time to get here and I still struggle with it, but I am learning. We all need help at times seeking it is not a sign of weakness but a sign of being human.

When it comes to self-worth, there is no one in this world that is better than I am and I am no better than anyone else, period!!!

Babies come into this world as the complete package not one better than the next. How they grow and develop is a different story, each surrounded by the world they live in with all of its self reflecting images.

Happy Father’s Day…

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there. Here in Pakistan and everywhere in the world anyway today is fathers day. I am not sure how far and wide around the world this celebration extends. I think Mothers Day and Fathers Day should be celebrated everywhere. Any that read this maybe you could tell me if it is celebrated where you live.

I can hear a lot of “oh no’s” echoing from everywhere when I say I have been thinking again. Thinking that is about Fathers day and what it means or could mean.

Now first off, who can be a father? Well biologically the way our bodies are, virtually any male over, I don’t know about the ages of 12 or 13 can father a child. That is just the way it is. Now there is though a world of difference between fathering a child and being a father. I imagine everyone would know what I mean here and no further explanation is needed.

Now I know today will be a day of family gatherings, BBQ’s etc and that the phone lines will be busy to capacity as dads are acknowledged and to that I say right on.

I am issuing two challenges today. First to the fathers. Your children will be gathering around you or calling you to both pay their respects and honor you on this day. I challenge all fathers to take a few moments to reflect on this past year. The year that has gone by since last father’s day. Reflect on the type of father you have been to your children in this past year. Do you really deserve to be honored in this way on this day? What kind of a father have you been in this past year?

We should never look for perfection when we think of our parenting roles, impossible to attain. As you look back you may see situations that were “disastrous” but even that is OK and acceptable if we were truly trying our best. Trying our best is all that can ever be asked of anyone in any situation. Just think about it, did you try your best or deep within do you know you took the easy way out, which often seems to be simply ignoring the kids. Think about this, keep it in mind and accept whatever honors or tributes are passed your way on this, your day. Just keep it in mind, think about it, there will be another father’s day next year. Do you need to and will you be making any changes in this next year?

Another thought to the fathers. Children in our lives are a blessing from God. Could Fathers Day possibly be a day in which we also honor our children the very ones that qualify us as fathers? Without our children this day would be meaningless to us, think about it.

If there are any dead beat dads that read this. I suggest this one thing. Go and pick up a baseball bat,use it to sharply strike yourself on the side of the head.

To the children of all ages celebrating father’s day. Why are you doing it? Have your really given any thought to this day or is it just another day on the calendar. A day in which we feel obligated to give him a call or maybe get the family together. Just because that is what is expected by society to be done. Will you say “Happy Fathers Day” just to get the words out and over with for another year? Mothers Day and Fathers day can have real meaning and significance or they can just be days in which we have a family obligation. Which is it for you?

I would be interested on hearing from all on this.

Proud Citizen of the World…

Maybe, I am not your stereo typical guy, in that I am not a huge sports fan. I just don’t have any desire to spend hours glued to the TV watching football, baseball, basketball or even hockey. But every 4 years that changes when the Olympics roll around. I am suddenly irresistibly drawn to the TV to watch any and all the events that I can. I am in total awe of each and every athlete as they show their athletic abilities in their various events. I marvel at the dedication, the determination and the work that each and every one has put in to get them to the point where they are now. The thousands of hours of work and training they have put in to prepare for this time. I admire and respect every one of them irregardless of the country they come from.

I AM A PAKISTANI and very proud of that fact. I am proud of my country and I suppose there for it is natural that I do cheer for PAKISTANI athletes.

Now I am not really sure if it is because I do seem to see things slightly differently on a lot of occasions since my mental abilities have enhanced or what. But, last year, it seems I am viewing the Olympics with a different mindset.

I admit there is still a large part of me that wants the Pakistani athlete to win. But, more and more I am coming to realize, I really don’t care which country the winning athletes are from. When watching the events on TV, they usually show a quick flash of the athlete, who usually wave to the camera. During this brief introduction it is mentioned which country the particular athlete is representing, fair enough as each is there proudly representing their own country. I realized my attention was drawn more to the country being represented than the individual participant. Think about it, how wrong that is.

I have always liked watching the Olympics and I am sort of embarrassed to admit but back in my younger days, I often found myself cheering AGAINST particular athletes simply because of the country they represented. Had nothing to do with the individual competing, it was just I didn’t want THAT country to get any glory. How wrong is that? I lost sight of the fact it was an individual competing and not a country. In my mind I suppose I was penalizing the individual because of the country they represented. How wrong is that?

Now, I see the athlete, the individual. I both marvel at and admire the strength and determination they have to have worked so very hard. The years of training and very hard work it has taken to get them to this point. I see an individual that has put so much effort into making their dream come true. The dream of competing in the Olympics. Is that dream any less real to any of the participants, irregardless of anything? I don’t think so.

Last night I was watching the men’s diving off the high board. I found myself cheering for each individual diver as his turn came. I was hoping each diver would each hit that perfect dive and score 10′s. I saw individuals living their dream and I was cheering for them all.

Yes, I am a citizen of Pakistan and very proud of that. I have realized I am more than that, I am a citizen of this world and also very proud of that. I see the feats individual athletes can accomplish and it makes me proud to be a citizen of this world. Never again will I allow the country of origin to blur my vision of the individual. Maybe if we all tried to carry this thought, here at the Olympics yes but also in our daily lives. Could we even try to carry it over to people of a different faith or religion, I don’t see why not.

I am only human so I still do have my individual biases. There is still a group of athletes that I do cheer AGAINST. No countries athletes are exempt from being placed on my no cheer list. I hate arrogance. If I see any individual showing what I feel is arrogance in say a semi final, that individual will be on my no cheer list for the final. This is something that has just to do with the individual and nothing to do with countries of origin.

Female Beauty Is Ageless…

I woke up with a very strange thought running through my head a few days ago and that thought seems still to be running through my head. Because I woke up with this thought. I imagine I must have been dreaming something but what I can’t remember or even imagine. I woke up comparing a woman to a tree. I can just picture my family rolling their eyes with that one and wondering where is he going with this.

Now, I have to be clear to begin with. First off there is no way I would or could literally compare a woman to a tree, the very idea sounds ridiculous and is just plain ridiculous. I have nothing but great love, respect and admiration for every member of the female gender, all a goddesses in my eyes. I believe God set out to create his greatest master piece of beauty and achieved it in our females. THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!

Now really the only comparable that can be really seem between a woman and a tree is that both are master pieces of beauty created by our Heavenly God.

Let’s get to the tree part. Use your imagination if you have to. Picture yourself walking through a forest. You are surrounded by tall magnificent beautiful trees. At first as you walk you are overwhelmed by the overall panoramic beauty of what you see, just a virtual sea of beauty revealing itself before your eyes with each additional step of the path. Ultimately you return home your mind just boggled by what you have seen.

It is in the early spring and the leaves have just budded out and are a beautiful shade of light green almost a lime green color. You make this walk a daily event and as you venture out more and more you begin to take note of individual trees as opposed to just the overall view. You see that each is perfectly and magnificently created and are just as God wanted them to be. You also note that no two trees are exactly the same, again exactly the way God wants them to be. Some are taller, some shorter, some have more branches, more leaves, some are wider around the trunk. You see some are evenly slightly differently shaped because of the way the branches have formed and spread. You see, admire and respect the differences, knowing each tree is unique and beautiful in its own way. As the season progresses you see the very color of the leaves is beginning to change. Changing from the light green to a deeper fuller shade of green. You appreciate the change but see that it does nothing to affect the overall beauty of the tree. It is still just as beautiful just more mature, in a tree way. The summer passes and fall advances. You now begin to notice another almost miracle of nature as the leaves begin to change color again. This time taking on the most beautiful shades of yellow, reds, oranges they are absolutely stunning to look at. People will actually drive for miles just to see this stunning sight and take pictures of the beautiful trees in all their glory. When you look close you can see some of the leaves are actually “sagging”. But none of that detracts but instead only adds to the beauty of the tree. Is the tree still beautiful to look at, at each of the various times? Yes!!!! Does it change over the season? Yes!!! But nothing detracts from the beauty at any or all times, irregardless of how advanced we are in the season.

I am not sure how well I did it but I have tried to paint a picture showing the changes in the “seasonal” life of a tree. Of how it retains its beauty throughout. Yes, it changes but at no stage is it any less beautiful than it was before. The picture might change, the beauty does not.

This is actually the only comparable I do see between a woman and a tree, the picture may change but the beauty does not.

Ladies you are God’s most beautiful creation, His greatest work of art. You are picture perfect no matter your age. You are at this moment exactly how God created and intended you to be. Society seems to have somehow come to the conclusion that for a woman to be at her prime she must be young and skinny, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. You are at your prime at your most beautiful right now, with no exceptions. God doesn’t make mistakes, if He had wanted you to look any different than you do right now, He would have made it happen. Be proud of who you are and how you look right at this moment.

How often do I read or hear of beautiful women, those that have years of experience at being beautiful, suddenly fretting that they no longer “have it”. It seems to me anyway that most women feel they have to have the face and body of an 18 year old forever. I just ask one question, WHY? If you are not 18 why would you feel you need to have the face and body of an 18 year old. Beauty can change but it doesn’t go away.

I write about enjoying life which is something I wish for all. If we become obsessed with out outward appearance so much can be lost. Ladies I challenge each and every one of you right now to go and really look in the mirror. Look at the beauty in the face you see looking back at you, age or nor anything else can ever change that.

To all the guys that like to look at a beautiful 18 year old young lady. Hey I am right there with you. She is gorgeous, no doubt about it. But really look and you will see so is the 19 year old the 20, 21, 22….35,36…53,54…68,69…80 and 90…. year old lady.

I know I am writing about physical appearance which really shouldn’t even be considered in the overall picture. It is what is inside that counts, I believe that and will be writing more about it in the future.

Misdirected Negative Feelings…

I thought I would give this abuse stuff a bit of a break. But there is a story I came upon on another blog. I read it and was so touched by it. I should have put the site on my blog roll or bookmarked it or something so I could go back and read it again. It just sort of keeps coming back to me again and again. It gave me a bit more of an insight into why possibly some suffers of abuse don’t seek help or at least take it when offered. I don’t know just my thoughts.

A part of it was about misdirected negative feelings. It spoke of long term abuse suffers being so beaten down, so defeated, they had no energy left to fight or really try any more. It goes back to the trained helplessness and hopelessness. I wish I had copied it to post it here, it states so much better the conditions of these situations than I can.

It spoke of women but I know it would equally apply to men. People who after 30 or 40 years of abuse are just left feeling empty and defeated. No energy to face anymore challenges, barely enough energy to just get through the day. They are so beaten down they are vulnerable to any and all that should wish to use or take advantage of them. They may have escaped from the abusive partner only to have that role taken over by other family members. Here I am talking brothers, sisters and even children to parents. There is no end of people willing to take advantage is given the opportunity, friend, neighbors, coworkers that list would be endless. Wittingly or unwittingly many seem to sense when someone is vulnerable and can be taken advantage of. I am sure this taking advantage of, using, controlling or abusing starts off with something small. But, it almost seems like human nature, if you get away with something small the tendency is continue pushing the envelope just to see how far you can take it. I am sure so often it is even at a subconscious level. The situation gradually evolves, expands and grows until it reaches the point total control is established over the other. I am sure even at that point many do not even realize what they are doing. Things have evolved and changed so slowly that it is not even realized that we have taken control of or are dominating the life of another. We don’t even realize or appreciate what is being done. It reaches the point where it becomes an expectation. “She will do what I want or I will be very mad and will make her life so miserable she will eventually cave in and I will get my way, as it should have been.”

Our abuse victim is pushed even further down. I have read our own children can be the worst at doing this. Our abuse victim just gives up. Her self esteem and self confidence so beat and taken away, she has no confidence in her own decisions. It is just easier to let anyone, even my kids decide what I should be doing, their decisions are likely better than mine anyway, and I just don’t have the energy to fight them, so be it.

I was surprised to read of a quite a number of women actually seeing and recognizing a loving, healthy hand being extended to help them. Of them feeling it was the right thing, the healthy thing to do but of them refusing the offered hand. Possibly maybe because of lack of trust in her own ability to make the right decision but mostly because of the objections of her own family. I am not sure if their objections were based on their own fear of change, I certainly hope not to just exert their control, this I just can’t believe.

I read of women giving up on what they knew would be a real chance of happiness in a healthy relationship because it was too much bother. Their families were comfortable the way things were and didn’t want change and fought it. In each case she just gave in not having the energy to fight for anything, not even her own health, happiness and well being.

I read of the stories of 3 women that had managed to find a new love. A love with a good loving and respectful man. In each case family pressure was so great; it became so stressful each ended the relationship. One guy ran for the hills never to be seen again. The other 2 had too much love to just give up that easily, they persisted in trying to wooing the lady they loved. Neither realized what they were really up against. Each attempted contact caused such uproar in the home, more and more stress for the lady. So much stress she began to dread the thought of him calling, knowing the stress and tension in the home that it would cause. In each woman apparently the feelings of love remained intact, but she began to resent the man for calling or trying to contact her because of the family stress it would cause her.

This is what I call the misdirected negative feelings. Here we had 3 women that had loving hands extended to them. Three women that had a chance at a healthy happy life but gave it up. Not only that but their negative feelings were directed at the loving man, the health support and not at those holding her back, controlling her life. I don’t get it!!!!!!!!

I have often encouraged people to shed negative draining relationships from your life and surround yourself with healthy, supportive and nurturing relationships. I just ask before you shed a relationship, please be sure you are sure where the negativity is coming from and be sure you shed the correct relationship. In the case if the relationship that needs to be sheded is with family, remember that doesn’t necessarily have to mean ending or cutting the ties, just the relationship as it is. End it as it is and reform it into a new and healthy one.

How A Man Treats A Woman…

Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today. ~ James Dean

A little while ago I sort of stumbled on this whole issue of abuse. I admit to having a hard time letting go of it, as it is all just so wrong and just makes no sense what so ever to me.

I never have and never will be a physical abuser and have never intentionally been an emotional abuser. I say “intentionally” as let’s face it at times we all misspeak or are misunderstood and can unintentionally hurt another.

I often get quite a number of emails from fellow bloggers and other friends. At times it is requested I do a post stating what my thoughts are on certain things. This is one of those cases; I have received a number of messages asking me to state my thoughts on how women should be treated by men. When I got the first message I sort of just laughed it off, thinking that is a no brain-er every man knows how to treat a woman. Then 3 more messages came in asking for the same thing. That made me stop and think, this along with the abuse issues I have been writing about make it clear maybe all males don’t know how they should be treating a woman. In fact I do believe all males know how a woman should be treated. The sad fact of the matter is many males are so immature and insecure within themselves that they CHOOSE not to do this. To make themselves feel better, more secure, I don’t know something. I do know this is unloving, unkind, just plain cruel and self centered. It is ridiculous. I belong to a third world country, stats here and in the west are quite different but still I’ll try to stick to the topic.

First off though I have to come to the defense of men. Now I know I have said this before but I must say it again. I hear so much about “MEN” abusing women, it almost at times make me ashamed to admit to being a man. I can say from my heart no “MAN” has ever hit a woman, controlled her or abused her in anyway. A real man just would not do that. There is a lot of understandable confusion as there are a lot of punks out there that see themselves as men, in general the world sees them as men, just because of age and size. This is where the confusion comes in. It takes more than age or size to become a MAN. It is time for all of us to realize the difference, a punk irregardless of age or size is not a Man. Abuse a woman in anyway and you have just proved to her, to yourself and all around, you are not a man but a PUNK. No explanations, reasons or excuses can ever change this, you are a punk. Maybe it is time to realize that, realize that real men look down on you, realize it is time to grow up to become an MAN.

OK, so how should any man treat any woman. A woman, any woman should always be treated with dignity and respect, treated as a Lady. There are just no exceptions to this rule, none, circumstances, situation nothing matters.

Now right away I can picture many shaking their heads, both men and women, saying there are some women out there that just don’t deserve to be treated as ladies. OK, I admit it, I have said there are a number of immature selfish males out there passing themselves off as men but are just punks. Statistically speaking I am therefore also sure there are a number of women doing the same. Irregardless, should this be true or not, as a man this does not give me the right to in essence pass judgment and treat them with anything but dignity and respect.

As a man I must have my own internal set of standards or conduct. To really be a man and to be true to myself, I cannot ever allow myself to sink below that set of standards. I am not responsible for the actions or deeds of others, but I am very much responsible for my own. I many not in fact approve, personally, of the deeds of another, and in fact not even want to have really anything to do with that person. That is fine, but, it does not mean that I can treat the individual with less than the dignity and respect any human being deserves.

Husband/wife relationship. Obviously the same dignity and respect would apply here, even to a much higher level. If a man loves his Lady he will show his love and do everything he can to make his Lady feel the love, feel safe and secure, feel protected, feel valued and cherished, feel respected as a person in her own right. He will strive to make her feel valued as the person she is, independent and free.

Some will question, how could anyone in a committed relationship be allowed to feel independent and free. Free to make her own choices. Some will ask if you are in a committed relationship, how can you be allowed to feel independent and free. Doesn’t the commitment remove the independence and freedom? It shouldn’t remove your right to choose your actions. It is in fact your choice of actions that will determine the depth of your commitment to the relationship. I don’t believe in pre marriage relations so I’ll shut this topic for now.

A real man if he truly loves his Lady will do everything he can to make her happy. He will help to nurture and support her, encouraging her to become the very best she can be. Nature dictates that in most cases the male will have superior size and strength. This should only and always be used to protect your Lady from harm, make her safe, make her feel safe.

A woman’s place is at a man’s side, equal in all ways, irregardless of anything. This is something I believe and have written many times. I recently read something about Pak Tribal Culture. This indicated that some believe at times a woman should indeed walk about 10 steps behind the man and under the circumstances described I agree.  How could this be justified, may be asked? At the time this practice was in place, they lived in the wilderness. The man walked ahead simply to ensure the trail was safe, free of snakes or anything that might endanger his lady. Your Lady should be loved, cherished and protected at all times.

When I think of a healthy relationship I think of 2 ships floating on the sea of life. I see 2 ships that are fully functional on their own, fully capable of navigating through life on their own. I see these 2 ships choosing to sail the sea of life together side by side. Love is the only reason these ships choose to sail side by side. As a man, I would not want to be sailing through life with another ship at my side that didn’t really want to be there, how unsatisfying in unfulfilled would that be, really.

But on the contrary what about men who face physical abuse? These stats are off record and never fiddled with.

May add more later. A completely new topic to deal with.

Good Morning